Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Some people believe that in many countries, the population has a large number of youngsters instead of the older people. Although this trend has some disadvantages, I believe that its advantages outweigh its drawbacks. this essay will discuss both sides and explain my opinion.

There are several advantages of increasing population of adults. The main benefit is that nowadays, young people may have awareness about the modern facilities. This is because in developing countries, there are more opportunities for young people to secure their future. For example, students may recieve better education in universities rather than a small town. Another advantage is that technology has become increasing day by day. young adults are consider to move in big cities for earning money.

Furthermore. young people population is growing significantly because of establishment of a better career. They want to pursue their studies in abroad.

On the other hand, there is one disadvantage of increasing number of adults population than older ones because they may ignore their health and more concentrate on their future, older people may want to spend their lives active and energetic. For example, older people may not live in cities because of pollution, afiliation and many other factors, where as young people encourage by the environment of a large countries.

In conclusion, although increasing number of young adults in countries has some disadvantages, I believe that iots advantages are greater. The main benefits are education facilities, earning resources and better lifestyle which make this development more beneficial overall.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both advantages and disadvantages of a youth-heavy population and clearly stating the writer's position that advantages outweigh drawbacks. The ideas presented, such as education, technology access, and career opportunities, are relevant, although some are under-developed or expressed with limited clarity, such as the mention of young adults being 'consider to move in big cities'. The conclusion effectively summarises the main points. While the development of ideas lacks some depth, the prompt is sufficiently addressed to meet the requirements for Band 6.0.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay has a coherent overall arrangement with a clear introduction and conclusion, and paragraphs are used to separate different points. However, there are issues with logical progression and mechanical cohesion. For instance, sentences like 'Furthermore. young people population is growing significantly because of establishment of a better career' show fragmented punctuation and awkward transitions. Additionally, referencing is sometimes unclear, particularly in the body paragraphs where pronouns and contrast markers such as 'where as young people encourage by the environment' fail to link ideas smoothly, placing the response firmly at Band 5.5.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The lexical resource is limited and adequate for the task, falling into the Band 5.0 range. The student attempts some less common vocabulary, such as 'awareness about the modern facilities' and 'establishment of a better career', but these demonstrate noticeable inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. There are also recurrent errors in morphology and spelling, such as 'recieve', 'increasing' instead of increasingly, and 'afiliation', which occasionally cause difficulty for the reader and reflect a restricted vocabulary range.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The student uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, attempting structures such as conditional and concessive clauses (e.g., 'Although this trend has some disadvantages...'). However, frequent grammatical and punctuation errors occur throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues and passive voice misuse, such as 'young adults are consider to move' and 'young people encourage by the environment'. Punctuation errors, such as starting a sentence with a lower-case letter ('this essay will discuss') and a stray full stop ('Furthermore.'), are also noticeable, though communication is generally maintained, aligning with Band 5.0 descriptors.

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