Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In recent years, some countries have had a relatively large proportion of young adults compared with older people. In my opinion, the disadvantages of this development far outweigh its advantages because a growing young population can place greater pressure on employment opportunities and public services.

To begin with, an increasing population of young adults may place greater pressure on job opportunities and public services. This is because young adults require equal access to hospitals, educational institutions, and employment opportunities, which ultimately increases pressure on the government's resources and funding. Moreover, a growing population need adequate housing and transport system, which may place an extra pressure on existing transport services, especially in urban areas. For instance,many young people may enter the labour market every year, while the number of jobs is limited, which eventually put pressure on government to invest in such areas. Therefore, if the number of young adults grow rapidly, it will lead unemployment and scarcity of public services.

On the other hand, the advantages of a growing young population cannot be overlooked because young people play an important role in a country's economic growth. This is due to the fact that older people who have retired are no longer able to participate fully in the workforce. In such a situation, young adults can fill these employment gaps and drive innovation through their skills, creativity and use of new technologies.

In conclusion, although a growing population is benefical for country's economic growth, I believe that the disadvantages of the increasing number of young adults outweigh its benefits because it put extra pressure on the governtment's resouces.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the task and presents a clear position throughout, arguing that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. The writer introduces relevant ideas regarding employment opportunities, public services, and housing pressures in the main body paragraphs. For example, the student notes that 'young adults require equal access to hospitals, educational institutions, and employment opportunities,' which places stress on government resources. However, some ideas feel slightly repetitive, particularly the reiteration of pressure on jobs and infrastructure across the introduction and the first body paragraph. While the arguments are generally supported, the development tends to be somewhat generalised rather than fully explored. This performance aligns well with the Band 6.5 descriptor range, where all parts are addressed and a position is presented, though some ideas could be extended more deeply.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay displays a clear logical organisation and progression throughout. Information and ideas are arranged coherently, with a discernible introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Cohesive devices such as 'To begin with,' 'Moreover,' 'On the other hand,' and 'In conclusion' are used effectively to guide the reader through the text. Paragraphing is used sufficiently and appropriately, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct aspect of the prompt. However, referencing is occasionally imprecise, and some sentences feature mechanical linking. For instance, the phrase 'This is because' is used repetitively to introduce explanations. Overall, the structural framework is sound and demonstrates a clear progression of ideas, comfortably satisfying the requirements for a Band 7.0 score in this category.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting some less common lexical items such as 'educational institutions,' 'labour market,' 'scarcity,' and 'economic growth.' However, there are noticeable spelling and word choice inaccuracies throughout the text. For example, the student writes 'benefical' instead of beneficial, 'governtment's' instead of government's, and 'resouces' instead of resources. Additionally, the phrase 'lead unemployment' should be 'lead to unemployment.' While these vocabulary errors do not impede communication, they reflect the characteristics of a Band 6.0 performance, where an adequate range is displayed alongside some recurring lexical and spelling inaccuracies.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The writer demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, successfully employing subordinate clauses and conditional structures such as 'if the number of young adults grow rapidly, it will lead unemployment.' Grammatical control is generally decent, but there are a few noticeable errors in subject-verb agreement and preposition use. For instance, 'a growing population need adequate housing' should use 'needs,' and 'put pressure on government' lacks a necessary article. Furthermore, the aforementioned conditional sentence contains a plural/singular mismatch ('grow' instead of 'grows') and a missing preposition. Despite these occasional errors, communication is never impeded, and the structural variety supports a Band 6.0 rating.

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