Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The number of older people are comparatively less than the younger adults in some countries. In my view, advantages of this definitely outshines the disadvantages because young adults are more energetic and passionate, while older people are too avoiding of change.

Young adults are highly energetic, innovative and dedicated people. As their physique is in the prime of their life, they can put more hours into work and therefore be more productive in work. Furthermore, innovation is key to success. If the old system is improved, only then it could cope with everchanging requirements. Nowadays, more and more people also feel the need to prove to their parents, who similarly expects it, that they can get successful without outside help. To exemplify, the children of entrepreneurs tend to follow the same path and open their own business and expand it, rather than eyeing their parent's seat.

On the other side of the argument, older generation are more experienced and spiritually intelligent. Elderly are known for their guidance on everyday activities from family management, to career choices, this could be attributed to them experiencing the same in their life. One reason why depression is more seen in nuclear families than joint family is because the nuclear family do not have the elderly that could guide them to correct path. Additionally, when proportion of old people lessens, our culture and heritage are also continually lost as we can see with the western influence and modernization in several third rate countries.

In my opinion while there some demerits to this trend, it is ultimately a positive development. In the current materialistic and technological world, going forward and being innovative is the main reason for the country's growth to be continuous. Thus, nation's overall progress will not only be beneficial to them but may also increase the living standards within.

To conclude, the rising ratio of young to old adults is good for the nation as a whole because of their critical thinking and youthful energy. As, current world requires adapting to the norms of materialism and novelty.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of having a population with a large proportion of young adults compared to older people, and clearly states a position. The ideas are generally relevant, covering productivity, innovation, family guidance, and cultural heritage. However, some arguments tend to over-generalise or remain slightly under-developed, such as the claim regarding 'third rate countries' or the brief mention of depression. While all parts of the task are addressed, the depth of extension places this securely in the Band 6 territory. The student maintains a clear position throughout, but the reasoning could benefit from more precise elaboration rather than broad assertions.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a logical progression of ideas from introduction to body paragraphs and conclusion. Paragraphing is used sufficiently and appropriately, with each body paragraph focusing on a distinct side of the argument. However, cohesive devices are sometimes faulty or mechanical. For instance, transitional phrases like 'On the other side of the argument' are used, but referencing within sentences can occasionally be unclear, as seen in 'this could be attributed to them experiencing the same in their life'. Paragraph transitions could also be smoother to elevate the flow of argumentation.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting some less common items such as 'innovative', 'everchanging', and 'materialistic'. However, there are noticeable word-choice and collocation inaccuracies, such as 'too avoiding of change', 'get successful' instead of 'become successful', and the pejorative and unnatural phrase 'third rate countries' instead of developing nations. Spelling is generally accurate, but the lexical limitations and occasional unnatural phrasing prevent the response from reaching a higher band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some ambitious structures like conditional and participial clauses ('If the old system is improved...', 'going forward and being innovative is...'). However, there are persistent grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('The number of older people are', 'parents, who similarly expects it', 'when proportion of old people lessens') and missing articles ('in joint family', 'nation's overall progress'). Punctuation is generally functional, but errors in grammar and awkward phrasing occur frequently enough to occasionally impede smooth reading.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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