Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-18
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.0)
In recent years , several nation have experienced a significant demographic shift characterzied by a predominantly young populatin relative to senior citizen . while this trend poses distinct chanllange regarding employed and resource allocation , i firmly belive that the economic dhymism and innovation broght by a youthful population significant outweight these draawbacks .
One the one hand , some nations has large number of older people for example, in in india has large number of older people beause of young adults go for abroad for study and our good fututre and some adult go to job or work thats why india has a large number of older people .
One the secound hand , todays genration take a high calertigs drugs its not good for our health so some time adult overdogg and the loss life this is reson of the death a adult and incress the number of older people . secondly the angerly issue now genreation has no pesciesion . moreover a younthful population today suggest an aging society in the future which will inevitably lead to incresad demad for the long term implication of this demographic tread.
In conculsion , while there are vaild concers about lack of experience and future challange of an having a lager young popultion such as incread innvoation , economic dynamism and reduced healthcare costs are for more compelling .I belive that the benifits of this situation cearly outweight the disadvanting .
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.5
The response addresses the prompt by attempting to discuss the advantages and disadvantages of a young population, but the development of ideas is severely hampered by numerous irrelevancies and poor logic, such as discussing drug use and anger issues. Furthermore, the response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, coming in at 241 words, which incurs a penalty. The position is stated in the introduction, but the supporting arguments lack clarity and direct relevance to demographic shifts, resulting in an overall partial treatment of the task.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical progression is frequently disrupted. Cohesive devices are used awkwardly or inaccurately, such as 'One the one hand' and 'One the secound hand', and referencing is often unclear. Paragraphing is attempted, but the internal coherence within paragraphs is weak due to disjointed and contradictory statements. The flow of ideas is frequently impeded by abrupt shifts in topic and poor transitional phrases.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.0
The lexical resource is very basic and limited. The text contains frequent and severe spelling errors, including 'characterzied', 'populatin', 'chanllange', 'employed', 'dhymism', 'broght', 'outweight', 'draawbacks', 'genration', 'calertigs', 'overdogg', 'reson', 'incress', 'angerly', 'pesciesion', 'younthful', 'demad', 'tread', 'conculsion', 'vaild', 'concers', 'lager', 'popultion', 'incread', 'innvoation', 'benifits', and 'disadvanting'. These numerous errors frequently impede communication and strain the reader's understanding.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
The grammatical range is extremely limited, relying mostly on simple sentences with frequent attempts at complex structures that are almost entirely faulty. There are persistent errors in basic grammar, subject-verb agreement, and punctuation throughout the text, for example: 'several nation have', 'some nations has', 'india has large number', 'adult go to job', 'today genration take', 'the loss life this is reson', and 'an having a lager young popultion'. These errors cause considerable difficulty for the reader.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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