Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-18
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In current affairs, it is often argued that in a range of nations nowadays large numbers of adults are comparing them with the numbers of older individuals. I completely believe that its merits will outweigh its de-merits and it will be discuss in the upcoming paragraphs.
The first and prominent advantage for this trend is larger workforce. To explain it further, younger population can increase the size of workforce so, more workers can fill the job and provide goods and service. Eventually, this trend can support the economy of the country. Second advantage is more economic productivity and tax revenue. To detail it out, large number of employed individual means more people paying taxes. So, with the collected revenue the policy makers can utilize it on the infrastructure, educations, medical facility and public service. Moreover, this development can reduce the pressure from the older people. To explain it further, if there are relatively fewer older people so government may face less pressure due to finance pension and elderly healthcare treatment.
Another advantage is innovation and entrepreneurship. To elaborate this. Young adult can provide innovative and sharps idea which help the organization to grow faster. Young adults can also help economically through starting their own businesses. For instance, by establishing technology companies or other business can create large number of employment opportunity.
Despite the advantages, there are some disadvantages. Firstly, increase the unemployment rate. To explain it further, if there will be a larger workforce there will be shortage of jobs which eventually leads to unemployment problem and this will create social problems. Secondly, create pressure on education and training. As government need to provide sufficient schools, teachers and vocational opportunities for a large number of young people.
Conclusively, although there are certain disadvantages such as increasing unemployment ratio and creating pressure on education and training. I believe advantages such as increases tax revenue, innovation and entrepreneurship can overshadow its de-merits.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of having a population with a large proportion of young adults. You present a clear position from the introduction stating that the merits outweigh the demerits. Key ideas such as workforce expansion, tax revenue, innovation, unemployment, and educational pressure are introduced and supported with explanations. However, some of these explanations tend to be repetitive in structure (such as 'To explain it further') and lack specific real-world examples or deeper development. While all parts of the task are addressed, the ideas are somewhat limited and under-developed, aligning best with a Band 6.0 descriptor.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear paragraph structure separating the introduction, advantages, disadvantages, and conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to group related ideas. However, the use of cohesive devices is frequently mechanical and repetitive, particularly with transition phrases like 'To explain it further' and 'To detail it out.' Additionally, referencing and logical progression occasionally falter due to abrupt transitions between sentences and paragraphs. For example, moving from economic benefits directly to 'innovation and entrepreneurship' lacks smooth bridging, though the overall flow remains understandable, fitting a Band 6.0.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, allowing you to convey your main arguments regarding the economy, workforce, and social issues. You attempt less common vocabulary items such as 'entrepreneurship,' 'employment opportunity,' and 'vocational,' but there are noticeable errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'sharps idea,' 'finance pension,' and 'de-merits' (where 'demerits' or 'disadvantages' would be more natural). Spelling and word formation errors occasionally occur, but they do not impede communication. This performance demonstrates the characteristics of Band 6.0.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You employ a mix of simple and complex sentence forms throughout the essay, including conditional structures ('if there are relatively fewer older people so government may face...'). However, there is a lack of consistent control over complex structures, leading to frequent grammatical errors. Examples include awkward phrasing like 'large numbers of adults are comparing them with the numbers,' missing articles ('reduce the pressure from the older people'), and punctuation issues. Errors are noticeable and require the reader to occasionally re-read, but they do not completely impede overall communication, placing this response at Band 5.5.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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