Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-18

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

At the present time,the population of some countries contains a large number of young adults,compared with the number of older people which has some advantages and disadvantages.

To begin, there are many advantages due to the young adults ,some countries developped economicaly ,technologicaly...which makes a huge difference because this young adults are intellectualy omnivor so they can do a lot to help there country to be a better one day after another.In addition,kind of population protect his country from the aging society by making an high birth and fertility rates.This young population vast majority of Sub-Saharan African countries.We can take the exemple of Angola: it features a predominantly young demographic structure, typical of many regions experiencing high natural population increase.

In the other side,there are many disadvantage of this kind of population due to Infrastructure pressures which is heavy strain on pediatric healthcare, housing, and public services.Therefore, there is the strain on education which has overcrowded classrooms and difficulties in matching educational systems with modern job market demands.

for exemple,Uganda has one of the youngest populations in the world, with a median age under 16 years old and over 75% of its population under the age of 30. While this represents a vibrant and energetic future workforce, it creates intense immediate pressures.

to resume,each kind of population has some advanatges and disadvantages and if the work more on there weak side and make it sronger all the problems will be sovled .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of having a young population, supporting these with examples such as Angola and Uganda. However, the position is not always fully articulated, and the ideas can be slightly underdeveloped due to brevity. Furthermore, as noted in the length check, the response falls short of the minimum 250-word requirement, sitting at 242 words. This under-length impacts the overall development and task achievement, pulling the score down slightly. While the general arguments are relevant, they require deeper elaboration and a more thorough conclusion to fully satisfy the higher band descriptors. Therefore, a band score of 5.5 is appropriate for this criterion, reflecting the partially developed ideas and word-count penalty.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay displays a basic logical organisation with an introduction, body paragraphs addressing advantages and disadvantages, and a brief conclusion. However, paragraphing and cohesive devices are handled mechanically and sometimes awkwardly, such as using comma splices and unspaced punctuation like 'at the present time,the population'. Transitions like 'To begin' and 'In the other side' are rather simplistic or unnatural ('On the other hand' would be standard). The progression of ideas is occasionally interrupted by abrupt shifts and run-on sentences. Referencing is sometimes unclear, for instance, 'kind of population protect his country'. Overall, the coherence aligns with the Band 5 descriptor, showing some organisation but lacking clear, smooth overall progression.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The student attempts some less common vocabulary, such as 'intellectually omnivor', 'demographic structure', and 'pediatric healthcare'. However, there are frequent word-choice, spelling, and collocation errors, including 'developped economicaly', 'technologicaly', 'there country' instead of 'their country', and 'advanatges'. The range of vocabulary is adequate for expressing basic ideas, but noticeable errors in spelling and word formation cause some distraction for the reader. Phrases like 'kind of population' are repetitive and lack precision. These features firmly place the lexical resource within the Band 5 category, where vocabulary is minimally adequate but marred by noticeable inaccuracies.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay features a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but attempts at complex sentences frequently contain grammatical errors or punctuation issues. Examples include run-on structures like 'some countries developped economicaly ,technologicaly...which makes a huge difference because this young adults are intellectualy omnivor so they can do a lot'. There are also agreement and pronoun errors, such as 'this young adults' and 'protect his country'. Punctuation is frequently faulty, with missing spaces after commas and periods. While communication is not completely obscured, frequent errors in grammar and mechanics cause difficulty for the reader, matching the Band 5 criteria for grammatical range and accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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