Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-18
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
Nowadays there are many countries which have a large number of population and the population number of young adults are larger than the number of older people. In my point of view, I think the advantages of this situation out,weigh the disadvantages which I will explain in this essay.
Day by day the number of young adults are increasing while the number of older people are decreasing. This has both positive and negative effects. Many individual thinks that older people are burden because they have to look after older people. As, people grow up, they act like children. They cannot do any of their personal work or sometimes they cannot walk. For instance, my sister's father-in-law is over 80 years and he needs extra attention. But when his family members go out for work, they always have to take pressure thinking about him which is very stressful.Because of this somethimes they also cannot focus in there work. So, if the number of older people decreases it will be beneficial for young generation.
Furthermore, older people are also a joy for a family. They are the root of family. Through them the family legacy continue, they pass the knowledge to their family. For example, I never have experienced any love from my grandparents because they had died before I born. After their death our family become nuclear family. So, the love and meaning of unity I couldn't feel.
In conclusion, sometimes love is not everything compared to reality and every person has to die today or later. Older people are not much important to society for work or other related issues but young adults are essential so, the advantages of adults has more than older people.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of having a population with a large number of young adults compared to older people, eventually taking a clear position. The student includes some relevant ideas, such as the economic and caregiving pressures associated with an aging population, as well as the familial role of older people. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited and repetitive. For instance, the discussion on older people being a burden is rather extreme and unsupported by broader socio-economic arguments, and the conclusion contains sweeping statements. While the writer covers the task, the arguments lack depth and academic maturity, placing this response firmly in Band 5.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which shows some organisation. However, there is a lack of clear overall progression and logical linking between ideas. Cohesive devices are often inadequate or mechanical, such as the repetitive use of 'and' and 'so', and referencing is sometimes unclear, as seen in the sentence 'Because of this somethimes they also cannot focus in there work.' Paragraphing is attempted, but the internal flow of ideas within paragraphs is disjointed, particularly in the transition between the perceived negative and positive aspects of older people. These limitations in cohesion and logical progression correspond to a Band 5.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is generally basic and repetitive, with frequent attempts at common lexical items showing limitations in precision and word choice. Examples include phrases like 'a large number of population', 'take pressure', and 'older people are not much important to society'. There are noticeable spelling and word-choice errors, such as 'somethimes', 'there work' (instead of their), and awkward collocations like 'action like children'. While the language is minimally adequate to convey the basic message, the frequent errors and restricted range prevent the response from achieving a higher band, making Band 5 an appropriate reflection of the student's lexical control.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, but control over grammar and punctuation is inconsistent. There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues ('the population number of young adults are larger', 'the number of older people are increasing'), article misuse, and preposition errors ('in my point of view'). Complex structures are often faulty or awkward, such as 'I never have experienced any love from my grandparents because they had died before I born.' These frequent errors cause some difficulty for the reader and reflect the characteristics of Band 5.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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