Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In today's world, youngsters are relatively larger in number compared to older people in some of the nations. This situation has its own merits and demerits but I believe that demerits outweigh the merits as the young people are becoming less aware of their culture and traditions, which are gradually disappearing as the older generation passes away.

On the one hand, with the depleting population of olders, there are small group of people who are well aware of the cultural heritage and treditions of the society. In consequence of this, our youth is losing touch with their culture which is a big loss. For instance, if the young adults of the society donot know the customs of their socity, they will never be able to perform them and pass them to the next generation which can lead to forgetting of the socitial norms and cultures.

In contrast, the young people of today's world are more into technology making the country more advance in science. Youths have invented gadgets no one has ever imagined. They have invented mobile phones which can be used to communicate with friends and family living far away. Similarly, they have created robots which can facilitate them doing daily chores effectively.

In conclusion, there are both the advantages and disadvantages of depletion of number of older people as young people have made incredible advancements in science from the invention of telephones, mobile phones, vehicles etc to the creation of robots which can help them proform daily tasks more effectively but older people were more aware of their culture and traditions. This awareness is far way less in youth leading to loss in culture which is a major disadvantage outweigh all the merits.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of having a population with a large number of young adults relative to older people. You take a clear position in the introduction stating that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages, and you maintain this stance through to the conclusion. The ideas are relevant, focusing on cultural heritage preservation versus technological and scientific advancement. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited and repetitive, particularly in the body paragraphs where points about culture and science are stated rather than fully extended with deep elaboration. For instance, the mention of robots and mobile phones is somewhat brief. Therefore, this performance fits the Band 6 descriptor where all parts of the task are addressed, but some areas are under-developed.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate different arguments, with one body paragraph dedicated to the disadvantages and another to the advantages. Cohesive devices are employed, such as 'On the one hand', 'In consequence of this', 'In contrast', and 'In conclusion'. However, some of these transitions and referencing mechanisms are mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'with the depleting population of olders, there are small group of people'. Additionally, repetition of phrases like 'young people' and 'older people' impacts the flow. This aligns well with Band 6, where information and ideas are coherently arranged, but cohesion can sometimes be faulty or mechanical.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

Your vocabulary range is adequate for the task, allowing you to discuss complex topics like cultural heritage, societal norms, and technological advancements. You attempt less common vocabulary items such as 'depleting population', 'cultural heritage', and 'facilitate them doing daily chores'. However, there are noticeable spelling and word choice errors throughout the text, including 'treditions' instead of traditions, 'olders' instead of older people, 'socity' instead of society, 'donot', and 'proform' instead of perform. There are also unnatural collocations like 'far way less'. These inaccuracies place the response securely at Band 5.5, or a solid Band 6 where attempts at less common vocabulary are accompanied by recurring errors that do not severely impede communication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing relative clauses and conditional structures such as 'if the young adults of the society donot know the customs... they will never be able to perform them'. There are, however, frequent grammatical and punctuation errors throughout the essay. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues like 'youngsters are relatively larger in number' and 'there are small group of people', alongside spelling slips that occasionally affect readability. Complex sentence structures tend to contain errors or awkward phrasings. Because simple sentences are generally controlled well while complex structures feature frequent minor errors, this performance aligns with the Band 6 descriptor.

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