Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-19
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The young adult are play very important rule in the future of any country. The population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. this ratio gave the advantages of any country because the young adults can more work than older people. First off all, the young generation of any country is made the brightor dark future of own countries. the older people cannot play important rule than the young adults they are high in power and fresh minded than older.If the young people do hard work they improve the position of them countries. The young generation take good steps for own and their countries and they set their high future and improve their work for the next generation. The young adults is the new minded and fresh minded people and they know the new things how made for the new generation and by using these things evey person who knowledge of new things change their position and develop for their country and try for made new things such us and bright the name of own country and strogale for their countries so the new generation gave us or our country new and important things. the old people not know about new tecniques and new things so they do not play rule in development of country. In conclusion, the new generation are play the most important rule in the develpment of country than the older people so this is the most veluable thing for any country that the amount of young generation is high than the old generation.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses the prompt by discussing the advantages and disadvantages of having a large young adult population compared to older people, taking a clear position that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Ideas are presented, such as the energy and innovative capacity of young people versus the limitations of older generations, but they are repetitive and under-developed. For example, the writer repeatedly states that young people are 'fresh minded' and know 'new things' without providing specific, well-supported examples or exploring the economic or social nuances of an aging population. This places the response firmly in Band 5, as the ideas are limited, repetitive, and lack full development.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0
The essay displays some basic organization, with an introduction, a body paragraph, and a conclusion. However, there is a distinct lack of clear overall progression, and ideas tend to loop repetitively. Paragraphing is poorly handled; the body of the essay consists of one massive, dense block of text that lacks logical sub-division. Cohesive devices are either missing, inadequate, or repetitive, such as starting multiple sentences with 'the young generation' or 'the old people'. Referencing is frequently unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the flow of argument easily. These features align with the Band 4 descriptor, where information and ideas are not arranged coherently.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.0
The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, severely limiting the effectiveness of the communication. Words like 'young adult', 'country', 'new', and 'important' are recycled constantly throughout the text. There are numerous word choice errors and incorrect word forms, such as 'play very important rule' instead of 'role', 'brightor' instead of 'brighter', 'strogale' for 'struggle', and 'tecniques' for 'techniques'. Less common vocabulary is attempted with significant inaccuracy. Because these lexical limitations and spelling errors frequently strain the reader and obscure meaning, the response warrants a Band 4 for lexical resource.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
The writer uses a very limited range of structures, mostly relying on simple sentences or attempts at complex structures that are heavily flawed and ungrammatical. Examples of severe grammatical errors include 'The young adult are play', 'this ratio gave the advantages', 'the young generation of any country is made the brightor dark future', and 'the old people not know about new tecniques'. Punctuation is also problematic, with run-on sentences, missing capitalisation, and improper spacing. Errors are very frequent across the entire text and constantly distort meaning, placing the grammatical range and accuracy at a Band 4 level.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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