Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-19
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In the recent years,advancment in the healthcare and average age of people increase significantly becasuse life expectancy increases.some advocate that senior citizen are banificial for the society.But i think that fanacial and ecnomical damage in more than that. On the one hand,as elders play are very important role in the society building like they provide a free daycare of working parents with a strong secuirty,so that the parents work freelly.Secondally senior citizen have a wealth of knowledge and full of life experiences in this way the work as a mantor for the young generation.Futhermore older people are very importance in the countryside for the local comounty to remamber their haritage.On the other hand,senior demoghraphic offers clear disadvantages for the government for every country where senior people are more than young one.First of all demand of medical care increases dramaticall,as elderly citizen are more vulnerable of cronic health condition.This puts immense pressure on the plublic health care units and increase government speending.Secondly more senior peeople retire government must allocate substantail funds towards pensions.At the same time a very serious esue also arise due to this factor of more oldies than young,it is a srinking work force leads to less tax revenues,creating a severe financial imbalance that can not be hinder a national over all growth.Overall,although senior citizen play a postive role in the society through their experience and support with in the families,but the economical burden on the healthcare system and on the government planings and buget.I fimaly hold that disadvantage of an aging population outweigh the advantages.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of an aging population and clearly states a position in the introduction and conclusion ("I fimaly hold that disadvantage of an aging population outweigh the advantages"). The ideas are relevant and supported with explanations, such as mentioning childcare, mentorship, and cultural heritage on the one hand, and increased healthcare costs, pension allocation, and a shrinking workforce on the other. However, some arguments remain somewhat general and lack fully developed examples, which places this response comfortably at Band 6. The position is clear throughout, and the main tenets of the prompt are satisfactorily covered despite minor structural and language slips.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The text demonstrates a coherent overall arrangement with clear attempts at signaling transitions between paragraphs, using phrases such as "On the one hand" and "On the other hand". However, paragraphing is somewhat irregular, as the entire body of the argument and conclusion is collapsed into densely packed blocks without clean line breaks or clear separation. Cohesive devices are sometimes used mechanically or inaccurately (e.g., "Secondally", "Futhermore"), and referencing is occasionally unclear. Despite these flaws, the progression of ideas is discernible, making Band 5.5 a fair and accurate reflection of the current organisational control.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, attempting some less common items such as "life expectancy", "mentor", "vulnerable", and "financial imbalance". However, there are numerous spelling and word-formation errors throughout the text, including "advancment", "banificial", "ecnomical", "mantor", "importance" instead of important, "comounty", "demoghraphic", "cronic", "speending", "substantail", "esue", "oldies", "srinking", "postive", "buget", and "fimaly". While these errors do not completely impede communication, their high frequency prevents the writer from achieving a higher band, capping the performance at Band 5.0.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The writer demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, attempting relative clauses and conditional structures. However, grammatical accuracy is poor, with frequent errors in punctuation, subject-verb agreement, and sentence boundaries (e.g., run-on sentences like "In the recent years, advancment in the healthcare and average age of people increase significantly becasuse life expectancy increases."). Fragments and missing words are also noticeable, such as in the concluding sentence: "Overall, although senior citizen play a postive role... but the economical burden...". Because errors occur frequently and occasionally cause strain for the reader, this performance aligns with Band 5.0.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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