Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

It is argued by some people that some countries have large population of adults rather than the older people. Although some consider it negative, but I believe that it to be extremely beneficial. Not only because of strong workforce and economic growth, but also because of new ideas.

There are multiple advantages associated with large population of youngsters. Firstly, adults have strong workforce than the older people. As cannot have any health issues and they are in their peak time of energy. Take an example, the American president Jones Adrew says that adults can work 80% faster than the older people. Thus, this significant advantage can make this development a positive development.

Secondly, youngsters have new ideas in business. As adults can think different from the olders, and this can help to remove weak laws and develop new ideas to improve businesses all over the world. For instance, a survey conducted in Dubai, this survey shows that the new generations are thinking differently from the past generations, and solve problems in different ways. Hence, this advantage carry a lot of weightage prove this development a very significent development.

Finally, adults can improve the growth of economic in all over the world. As adults have a strong workforce and have new ideas, this can help to improve the economic growth of a country.

To sum up, although this development have some drawbacks too, but I believe that in term of strong workforce, new ideas and economic growth are the advantages proves this development a positive one.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing the advantages of a young population, such as workforce strength and innovation, and concludes with a clear position. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited and repetitive. For instance, the argument regarding economic growth in the third body paragraph simply restates points already made about the workforce and new ideas without introducing substantial new evidence. Furthermore, the examples provided, such as the invented reference to 'American president Jones Adrew', are weak and unconvincing. While all parts of the task are addressed, the support lacks depth and relies on sweeping generalisations. This performance aligns best with the Band 5 descriptor because the ideas are somewhat limited and under-developed.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay has a recognisable overall structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is attempted, with distinct sections for different arguments. However, progression is hindered by repetitive ideas and mechanical cohesive devices. Words like 'Firstly', 'Secondly', and 'Finally' are used, but transitions between sentences feel abrupt. For example, the sentence 'Take an example, the American president Jones Adrew says...' lacks smooth integration into the paragraph. Additionally, referencing is sometimes unclear, such as the vague pronoun use in the concluding summary. Overall, the organisation shows some structure, but the mechanical nature of the cohesive devices and the lack of smooth progression place this firmly at Band 5.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is adequate for communicating basic ideas, but it is repetitive and lacks precision. Phrases like 'large population of adults', 'strong workforce', and 'new ideas' are used repeatedly throughout the text. There are also noticeable lexical errors and inappropriate word choices, such as 'growth of economic' instead of 'economic growth', and 'weightage' used informally. Furthermore, terms like 'youngsters' and 'olders' demonstrate a limited lexical range. While the reader can understand the intended meaning, the restricted vocabulary and recurring word choice errors prevent the response from reaching a higher band, making Band 5 an appropriate evaluation.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The essay displays a very limited range of grammatical structures. The writer relies heavily on simple sentences and basic clause structures, and attempts at more complex sentences often result in severe grammatical errors, sentence fragments, or awkward phrasing, such as 'As cannot have any health issues and they are in their peak time of energy.' There are also persistent errors in prepositions, article usage, and subject-verb agreement, such as 'this development have some drawbacks'. While some basic sentences are accurate, the high frequency of grammatical mistakes and the lack of successful complex structures mean the response meets the criteria for Band 4.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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