Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The increasing number of young adults in the population of a country these days in comparison to the older people might have some disadvantages like more drug addicts and creating a competative enviornment in every sector but their advantages such as more potential for work and creativity outweighs them.

On one hand, the growth in young people in a country might result is challenging conditions like a surging number of drug addicts as young people are more drawn towards this kind of stuff. Majority of the people start the use of drugs when they are young and this could be one of the potential problem of having a large number of young adults. Similarly, More young people in a country mean more competetion. The growth of young adults can also lead to a saturated market in a any sector and can become a leading cause of a fierce competetion in the job market. For example, in my country Pakistan thousands of young people applies for a single advertised public job because of the numerous population of young people.

On the other hand, the advantages of having greater amount of young people than the older ones can be a blessing for a country. Young adults are far more energetic than older people therefore they can perform any type of work faster and an efficient way. This obviously will result in better work experience and can boost a country's conditions for good. One such example of which is the country of China. Despite being the largest population in the world China up-lifted the ban of having only two childs because they were losing they needed young, energetic people. In the same way, young mind is source of creativty. A young person always has the potential of doiing new things and can bring new ideas and oppotunities to a country. For instance, Mark Zukerberg and Elon Musk enriched America because of their innovative, fresh mindset.

In conclusion it can be argued that young adults might result much addiction and may increase the competetion in a country but their creativity and energy can shape it in a much better way.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The student addresses all parts of the task by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of having a young population, presenting a clear position throughout that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Ideas are extended and supported with relevant examples, such as mentioning Pakistan to illustrate intense job competition and China and America to support the economic benefits of youth. However, some ideas border on over-generalisation, such as linking young adults directly to a surging number of drug addicts, which lacks strong supporting evidence. The main position is well-maintained and clearly justified by the end of the essay, meeting the criteria for a Band 7.0 performance.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay displays a clear logical organisation and progression throughout. It follows a traditional four-paragraph structure with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs representing opposing views, and a concise conclusion. Cohesive devices are used to guide the reader, such as 'On one hand,' 'Similarly,' and 'On the other hand.' However, paragraphing and sentence linking occasionally feel a bit mechanical, and some transitions lack smooth integration. Referencing is mostly clear, though some sentences run on without sufficient punctuation. Overall, the structural progression is logical and easy to follow, aligning closely with Band 6.5 or 7.0 descriptors.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The student demonstrates an adequate to sufficient range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common items such as 'saturated market,' 'innovative,' and 'potential.' However, there are noticeable spelling and word choice errors throughout the text, including 'competative' instead of competitive, 'enviornment,' 'applies' instead of apply, 'numerous population' instead of large population, 'doiing,' and 'Zukerberg.' These inaccuracies indicate a Band 6.0 level, as the vocabulary used is sufficient to communicate meaning effectively despite the spelling and collocation lapses.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some variety in structure. For instance, conditional and relative clauses are attempted, as seen in sentences starting with 'Despite being the largest population...' and 'A young person always has the potential of...'. However, there are frequent grammatical errors and punctuation issues, such as missing articles ('the country of China'), subject-verb agreement issues ('thousands of young people applies'), and run-on sentences lacking appropriate punctuation in the introduction and conclusion. These errors sometimes require the reader to re-read, placing this response firmly in the Band 5.5 to 6.0 range.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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