Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In my point of view that’s a good thing that the population of young adults are relatively large than the old people because i think the younger adults have more energy and passion than the old ones when a person is in his younger age he has more courage power and more likely to succeed and do something good for their country compared to the old people who doesn’t have the ability to do something which requires time efforts and endless work while a younger person can do it easily so, the advantages of this situation surely outweighs the disadvantages by making the younger generation useful and able to face the challenges in the path of success i experienced this situation, when i was in 12th grade my mother who is 60 years old had to write down the test for their classes she couldn’t do that because she was old and had no energy so i helped her and made all the tests from that day i think the younger people are very useful and without us many works will not be done when we are young we are in our prime era and the things that feel difficult to do in older ages feel very easy in young years if an old person has to do a 12 hours shift in a caffe it wouldn’t do that because he is old now but a younger person could do it easier their are also disadvantages of this situation because we are losing the old people who guide us in all roads of life and give the best solution and options in any problem of life but thats ok.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing the advantages and disadvantages of having a large young adult population. A clear position is stated at the beginning, arguing that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited and repetitive. The student relies heavily on generalised claims about energy, passion, and work capacity, such as comparing a 12-hour cafe shift. The personal example regarding helping the mother with 12th-grade tests is partially relevant, though slightly confused in context. While all parts of the task are addressed, the arguments lack depth and academic extension, aligning best with a Band 5.0 level where ideas remain somewhat basic and under-developed.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The entire essay consists of a single, run-on sentence without any paragraph breaks. This lack of appropriate paragraphing severely impacts the structural coherence and readability of the response. Cohesive devices are minimal and basic, overly reliant on 'and', 'because', and 'while'. There is no clear logical progression or segmentation of ideas into an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Although the overall flow tracks a continuous argument regarding youth versus age, the absolute absence of punctuation and paragraphing limits the coherence to a Band 4.0 descriptor.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is basic, repetitive, and restricted to everyday terms such as 'good thing', 'young adults', 'old people', and 'energy'. There are noticeable limitations and inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'write down the test' instead of 'take a test' or 'sit an exam', and 'made all the tests'. Words like 'caffe' contain spelling errors. While the language is minimally adequate to convey a basic meaning, the lack of a flexible or wide range of vocabulary prevents the score from exceeding Band 5.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The essay displays severe structural issues, most notably being written as one continuous run-on sentence spanning the entire length of the text. There is a complete lack of sentence boundary punctuation, periods, or appropriate capitalization. While the writer attempts some complex structures using subordinating conjunctions like 'because' and 'compared to', the lack of punctuation creates pervasive grammatical fragmentation and run-on errors. Simple structures are also affected by agreement and preposition errors, such as 'population ... are' and 'in older ages'. These frequent and systematic mechanical errors heavily impede readability and constrain the grammar score to Band 4.0.

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