Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-22
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
It is irrefutable that in current era the population of few countries increase in large number of youth , rather than senoir citizen. I believe that young genertaion will be the future while older ones does not contibute much to the country. In my opinion the merits of youth population increases is good for upcoming generation. In this essay i will discuss merits and demerits.
On the one hand the main advantage of increasing number of young population in many countires is to upgrading technology and genius minds. In other words nowadays the generation are more intelligent and also have a deep knowledge in internet or electronic communication however, people before many years ago they were not having any communication devices to talk but the generation made easier for them to communicate through each other and it makes difference the young ones and older ones. For example a survey was out that many factory have now upgraded machines and also the old workr do not have knowledge about the machines how to use and less skill so they loose their job. As a result the worlds demands for an intelliegent brain and young genertaion.
On the other hand there were some disadvantages that senior citizen have very less oportunity compared to younger ones. To explain this it is have several reason for this that due to ageing they were not work much do not have knowledge of technology and to be apart of this they have a very less oportunity. For instances The (HDI) human development index the survey was out that demanding for younger people is more ratio compared to senior citizen. Therefore old people not have ability to work also no one should hire them.
To sum up this there were merits for the young people yet, also demrits for older ones to stay home everyday.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of a population with a large number of young adults, taking a position that the merits outweigh the demerits. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited and repetitive. For instance, the argument regarding technology and older workers lacking skills is stated, but it lacks deep elaboration and relies on generalizations. The student's view that older generations 'do not contribute much to the country' is extreme and under-supported. While all parts of the task are addressed, the ideas would benefit from greater extension and more precise supporting examples. Overall, the performance aligns with the Band 5 descriptors.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is divided into an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a brief conclusion, indicating an attempt at standard essay structure. However, paragraphing and logical progression are frequently hindered by weak cohesive devices and abrupt transitions. Phrases like 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' are used, but internal cohesion within paragraphs is often faulty or mechanical, such as 'To explain this it is have several reason for this that due to ageing...' Referencing is occasionally unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the flow of arguments smoothly. This level of organization and cohesive control corresponds to a Band 5.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, with noticeable errors in word choice, word formation, and spelling throughout the essay (e.g., 'senoir', 'genertaion', 'contibute', 'countires', 'workr', 'oportunity', 'demrits'). The student attempts some less common vocabulary such as 'irrefutable', 'human development index', and 'merits', but these attempts are undermined by inaccuracies and awkward collocations, such as 'young population increases is good' or 'demanding for younger people is more ratio'. The lexical range is minimally adequate for the task, resulting in a Band 5.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a very limited range of grammatical structures, and attempts at complex sentences are frequently faulty. There are persistent, highly noticeable errors in basic grammar, subject-verb agreement, and punctuation. Examples include: 'the population of few countries increase in large number', 'people before many years ago they were not having', and 'old people not have ability to work'. Punctuation is also frequently misused, particularly with missing or misplaced commas. These frequent errors cause significant difficulty for the reader and reflect the Band 5 descriptor level.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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