Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-22
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
In present time,survey of some countries shows there is larger number of young adults compared to older people.This situation shows that there must be some factors responsible for this,this may be due of lack of physical activities, in elderly people.We should spread awareness about this situation.
The other factor that contribute to this is diet, the elderly should avoid laziness and start to do things by themselves rather than depending on young peple.The advantage is population control,when there are less people there is less resources consumed.The advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages,in the sense that less resources are consumed.
For example,the country I am from is Pakistan here the concept of parents is to birth children so that they become our care taker in our older ages or in future.Which in my perspective completely wrong if your plan that your children take care of you rather than living there own life.I am nt saying that older people should die but everyone has to take control of his own things rather than putting pressure on to some one.In Asia the parents give there whle property and assets to there sons in there lives and loss all the control and charge of there own lives.As they loss control there diet also lacks the required nutrients and lack the daily physical movements cause depletion of there population.
In the last,I want to conclude that elder people should take care of themselves and should take care of their diet to live happy,healthy and long life.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response attempts to address the prompt regarding the advantages and disadvantages of having a population with a relatively large number of young adults compared to older people. However, the development of ideas is limited and somewhat confused. The writer struggles to maintain a clear focus on the broader societal comparison, frequently veering into tangential arguments regarding elderly care, diet, and physical activity in countries like Pakistan. The position is stated, claiming that advantages outweigh disadvantages in terms of resource consumption, but this point is underdeveloped and lacks sufficient extension. While the prompt is addressed in part, the arguments lack logical progression and clarity, aligning best with the descriptors for a band 5.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay displays significant weaknesses in coherence and cohesion. Paragraphing is problematic; the second paragraph is excessively long and crams multiple unrelated thoughts together, while paragraph breaks often occur mid-argument. Cohesive devices are used awkwardly or repetitively, such as the frequent comma splices and lack of appropriate transition words to guide the reader through the logic. Referencing is sometimes unclear, for example, when the pronoun 'this' refers back to vague concepts. Overall progression is difficult to follow, as ideas jump abruptly from population control to cultural practices in Pakistan and back to diet, making the text fit the band 5 descriptor.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, frequently hindered by word-choice and collocation errors. Examples such as 'birth children', 'care taker', and 'loss all the control' demonstrate limited control over lexical items. Spelling and word formation mistakes are also present, including 'peple' and 'whle'. While the writer attempts to use less common vocabulary like 'depletion' and 'population control', these attempts are often imprecise or inaccurate. The range is minimally adequate to convey basic meaning, but frequent errors cause some difficulty for the reader, placing this performance at band 5.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
Grammatical control is weak throughout the response. The text is heavily marred by punctuation errors, most notably numerous comma splices (e.g., 'In present time,survey...'). There is a very limited range of structures, and attempts at complex sentences frequently result in faulty syntax and confusing clauses, such as 'Which in my perspective completely wrong if your plan that your children take care of you'. Subject-verb agreement and article usage are frequently neglected ('lack the daily physical movements cause'). Frequent errors cause considerable strain for the reader, matching the criteria for a band 4.5 or 5.0, rounded to 5.0.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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