Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-22
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
In some countries, there is a discussion about the population of young adults is more than compared to the population of older people. I strongly believe that having more number of adults rather than older people have sevaral advantages as well as disadvantages.
On the one hand, If a country has population with more adults can poses with some advantages. For example, Adults between the age 15-25 can have freedom in society without any restrictions and they can make their own decisions independently. Majorly, adults can do each and every work with their own knowledge and they may be able to think more broadly to complete a particular work this leads to sharpening their brain. As a result, they may be able to maintain their life with discipline and they involve in all aspects of work. Furthermore, they always do a work with pre-plainning independently.
On the other hand, apart from benifits there are several disadvantages in most of the countries while having more adult population instead of older. For instance, if a country has more adults can have negative side such as they don't have proper guidance to follow for their career, they may loose their ablity in discipline and they always wanted to depend and older people in case of finacial support or security. As a result, adults can't grow with proper guidance, this leads to decline in an economy of a country.
In conclusion, countries should have more number of older people than young adults. Young adults can learn from the experience of older people. I geniunely believe that, having more older people in a country's population have several advantages than limitations.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses the prompt by discussing both advantages and disadvantages of having a large young adult population. However, the development of ideas is limited and somewhat repetitive. For example, the student mentions that young adults 'can have freedom in society' and 'make their own decisions independently,' but these points are not sufficiently extended with strong, concrete examples. Furthermore, the conclusion abruptly shifts stance to argue that 'countries should have more number of older people than young adults,' which contradicts the earlier balanced approach and confuses the writer's overall position. To reach a higher band, the response needs deeper elaboration of specific ideas and a clear, consistent stance maintained throughout the essay. Because all parts of the task are addressed, albeit superficially, a Band 5.5 is appropriate.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organized into four distinct paragraphs, including an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion, showing an awareness of standard essay structure. However, the logical progression is frequently hindered by mechanical and repetitive cohesive devices, such as 'For example,' 'As a result,' and 'Furthermore.' Additionally, referencing is sometimes unclear, such as when the pronoun 'they' becomes ambiguous in sentences like 'adults can have negative side such as they don't have proper guidance... and they always wanted to depend and older people.' Paragraphing is used, but internal flow within paragraphs lacks seamless transitions. Therefore, these coherence and cohesion issues place the response firmly at Band 5.0.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is relatively basic and repetitive, with frequent spelling and word-choice errors that occasionally impede communication. For instance, words like 'sevaral' (several), 'posen' or 'poses' (pose), 'benifits' (benefits), 'loose' (lose), 'ablity' (ability), 'finacial' (financial), 'pre-plainning' (pre-planning), and 'geniunely' (genuinely) demonstrate persistent spelling issues. While the student attempts less common phrases like 'independent decisions' and 'economic decline,' the lexical range remains limited and inadequate for expressing precise ideas smoothly. These noticeable errors and restricted vocabulary range align with the Band 5.0 descriptors.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, but control over grammar is weak. There are frequent grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('having more number of adults... have sevaral advantages'), awkward preposition use ('depend and older people'), and run-on sentences ('adults between the age 15-25 can have freedom in society without any restrictions and they can make their own decisions independently'). Complex structures are often faulty, and punctuation errors are common throughout the text. These frequent errors cause some difficulty for the reader and reflect the characteristics of a Band 5.0 performance.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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