Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-22
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
Nowadays, in many countries there is a large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. However, there are both pros and cons of this. In this essay, I will discuss some of the reasons why there is a large number of adults in the population of some countries and some of the challenges to be overcome.
Let's begin by looking at the advantages of a large number of adults in population. One of the main positives is that they will boost the economy of country. What I mean by this is that as they are young and also in a majority so they are a lot of people available for different jobs. This can make a country wealthy and can make strong economy.
Turning to the other side of argument small number of older people means there is less efficiency of work. To be more precise small number of people have work experience. As for some works experience is necessary. So if there is small number of old people are in country this often leads to wrong work and a country will not grow in proper way.
To sum up, you need to weigh up the pros of more workers and the cons of less work experience. Personally, I believe the benefits of more workers eventually outweigh any negatives.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of a population with a large number of young adults, stating a personal position at the end. However, the essay falls significantly short of the word count requirement, containing only 223 words compared to the minimum of 250. This negative impact on length restricts the development of ideas, leading to under-developed arguments, particularly regarding the disadvantages of having fewer older people. While the core themes are touched upon, such as economic boosting and work experience, the lack of word count and limited extension of ideas places this performance in the Band 5 category.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is divided into four paragraphs, following a standard structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a brief conclusion. There is a basic overall progression, utilizing transitional phrases such as "Let's begin by looking at" and "Turning to the other side of argument". However, cohesion feels somewhat mechanical and repetitive. Referencing is occasionally unclear, such as the ambiguous pronoun use in sentences like "as for some works experience is necessary". Paragraphing is present, but overall the organizational framework lacks the smoother logical flow and flexible use of cohesive devices required for higher bands, aligning it with Band 6.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully conveying general meanings through words like "economy", "majority", "experience", and "positives". However, there are noticeable lexical inaccuracies, awkward collocations, and missing articles, such as "boost the economy of country" instead of "boost the country's economy", and "small number of people have work experience". Attempts at less common vocabulary are limited, and spelling or word-choice slips occur throughout, which reflects the characteristics of Band 5.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing relative clauses and conditional structures such as "What I mean by this is that as they are young..." and "So if there is small number of old people are in country this often leads to...". There are frequent grammatical errors, particularly regarding article omission ("in population", "in country"), subject-verb agreement ("there is a large number of adults", "a country will not grow"), and run-on structures. These errors can occasionally cause some difficulty for the reader, fitting the Band 5 descriptors well.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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