Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-23
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
These day inrising people can make new development for current generation. At the now time, the resident of furious nations includes a connectivity more number of young people, compared with the number of old age people. In my preception the benefits surpass the drawback. My inclination is justified in the upcoming paragraphs with valid reasons and examples.
In that time advantages are more beneficial rather than disadvantages. Young people can did work more then older people moreover their knowledge are very intresting compare to older people. At like example, that generation do work on technology based and logical that's why they complete they work in less time. As a result, in that time effort can less more then older people so that is advatages for large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Many advantages are large of young people they could large of people more benefit i think they did work on energetic but old people are less working. In addition old age people thought systeam are older therefore they believe older mind set. As result, that's mide set is very bad so people can not live that though in past gab. Example, elder people can a blind belief held without any logical reason, evidence, or critical thought.
that's why that not enogh for that time.
In conclusion, many benefits of more number of younger, contrast with less of old people. having a larger population of young adults compared to older people offers significant economic and societal advantages that generally outweigh the drawbacks, provided the nation effectively channels this potential.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The response attempts to address the prompt regarding whether the advantages of a population with a large number of young adults outweigh the disadvantages. A position is stated in the introduction, suggesting that the benefits surpass the drawbacks, and this is reiterated in the conclusion. However, the development of ideas is severely hindered by unclear phrasing and circular reasoning. For example, the student mentions that young people 'can did work more then older people' and discusses outdated mindsets, but the arguments remain underdeveloped and difficult to follow due to linguistic limitations. While the task is partially addressed, the lack of coherent elaboration places this response at Band 5.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
Paragraphing is attempted, with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion, although the transitions and overall logical progression are frequently disrupted by language barriers. Cohesive devices are used awkwardly or inaccurately, such as 'At the now time' and 'As a result, in that time effort can less more then older people'. Referencing is often unclear, leaving the reader confused about the connections between ideas. While there is a discernible structure to the essay, the mechanical and faulty use of cohesion prevents the progression from being clearly logical, resulting in a Band 4.5 descriptor profile, rounded to 5.0.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.0
The vocabulary used is basic, repetitive, and heavily flawed. Throughout the text, there are numerous word-choice and collocation errors, such as 'inrising people', 'furious nations' (likely meaning various nations), and 'mide set'. The student attempts less common vocabulary like 'preception' and 'connectivity', but these are used incorrectly and significantly impede communication. Frequent spelling and lexical inaccuracies mean the reader has to struggle to understand the intended meaning. This performance aligns closely with Band 4.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0
The response displays a very limited range of grammatical structures. Simple sentences dominate, and attempts at complex structures are almost invariably faulty, as seen in 'Young people can did work more then older people moreover their knowledge are very intresting compare to older people.' Errors in tense, subject-verb agreement, and word order are pervasive throughout the text and frequently distort the meaning. Punctuation is also problematic. Because errors are extremely frequent and cause constant difficulty for the reader, the grammar falls into the Band 4 category.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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