Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In some countries, the number of young adults is higher than the number of elderly people at this time. Most of the people believe that it is more benificial then its drawbacks. In opinion it is true mainly because it will provide a larger workforce and more innovative entrepreneurship, the pressure of unemployment.

First and foremost, the larger the number of young adults, the larger the workforce. This helps a country produce the maximum number of products. This will directly affect the economy of the region. For example, young people can fill positions in digital product development, technology, manufacturing companies, and healthcare. Therefore, a country can grow rapidly.

Secondly, the young generation is highly influenced by and used too of the modren technology and starting a business. Mainly because post-modern technology speeds up tasks compared to the traditional method. Starting their own startups will create new job opportunities and industries. For instance, a country with a huge population of adults will have more young entrepreneurs who will create tech-based businesses like online shopping and digital payment service platforms. Hence, the country will grow both in tech and business.

However, a large population of young adults can cause unemployment and pressure on services. This large number of adults entering the job market at once means that most of them may remain unemployed. thsi cause cause both financial poverty and depression. Such as, if 100 students graduate and enter the job market each year while companies are not creating new opportunities, most of these students will remain jobless. As a result, this will affect the country with negative consequences.

to conclude, the benifits of having large population of young adults is outweigh the disadvantages, if the government utilize the young generation efficiently.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of having a large young adult population. The writer takes a clear position in the introduction stating that the advantages outweigh the drawbacks, primarily focusing on workforce expansion and entrepreneurial innovation, while also acknowledging the risk of unemployment. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited and repetitive in places, particularly in the conclusion where the sentence structure breaks down ("to conclude, the benifits of having large population of young adults is outweigh the disadvantages"). The arguments are generally relevant, covering economic growth and startup culture, but require deeper elaboration to reach a higher band. Overall, the response addresses all parts of the task satisfactorily, earning a band score of 6.0.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear paragraph structure, utilising basic linking words such as 'First and foremost', 'Secondly', 'However', and 'to conclude'. However, cohesion is at times mechanical or faulty, as seen in the incomplete sentence in the introduction ("In opinion it is true mainly because...") and awkward transitional phrasing. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate different arguments (workforce, technology, and disadvantages), but referencing and logical progression are occasionally hindered by grammatical lapses. Therefore, the response aligns best with the Band 6 descriptors for Coherence and Cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The student demonstrates an adequate vocabulary range for the task, attempting some less common lexical items such as 'entrepreneurship', 'digital product development', and 'tech-based businesses'. However, there are numerous spelling and word-choice errors throughout the text, including 'benificial' instead of beneficial, 'modren' instead of modern, 'used too' instead of used to, and 'benifits' instead of benefits. These errors do not seriously impede communication, but they restrict the lexical score to a Band 6, as the vocabulary lacks the precision and flexibility required for higher bands.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, incorporating conditional structures and relative clauses (e.g., 'a country with a huge population of adults will have more young entrepreneurs who will create tech-based businesses'). Nevertheless, there are frequent grammatical errors and punctuation issues, such as tense and agreement inconsistencies ('is outweigh the disadvantages', 'thsi cause cause both financial poverty'), missing articles ('In opinion'), and fragmented clauses. Because these errors occur regularly alongside a basic control of complex structures, the performance corresponds to a Band 5.5.

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