Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Today, the population of young adults is significantly larger in number as compared to the number of older people in some countries. From my perspective, this situation outweighs the advantages.

On the one hand, young adults are the future of every country. They are one of the important pillars of a country. Through the success of young people, the country is able to advance and is able to build a better place for the citizens. Basicly, half of the country is runned by the young genration, therefore it is highly important to have great number young adults in a country. Young people have great mind-set and they are curious about the world which leads them to discover and work. For example, Alberts Einstein made most of his discoveries at a young age, making his country proud. Furthermore, young people are meant to lead the world and solve rising problems.

On the other hand, with high number of young population comes greater challenges. Due to significant number of young adults, country faces many difficulties, such as providing jobs. The unemployment rate in countries where the population of youngsters is considerably evaluated. The high rate of unemployment is concerning as money is the basic source of living. Because of which the economy of a country becomes affected and imbalanced. For example, the percentage of unemployment in middle east is was recored 29%, in 2024. Which meant many youngsters with degrees were unable to earn for themselves. Moreover, currently it may seem quite benifical to have large number of young adults as compared to older people, however in the future this will become a problem. The population will countinue rising, the demands and sources will be outweighed by the population. It will also increase the noise pollution. Environment and land will become one of the greatest issues, people will have to built tall buildings for a roof over there head, which is highly unfit for the environment.

Overall, there are considerably many disadvantages of having larger number of young peoples. This problem may seem small for now, however if no actions are taken, then the problem will become an issue difficult to handle.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing the advantages and disadvantages of having a large population of young adults, taking a clear position in the introduction that disadvantages outweigh advantages. The ideas presented are generally relevant, such as the economic pressures of unemployment and environmental concerns. However, the development of ideas tends to be somewhat superficial and repetitive. For instance, the discussion on unemployment lacks deep analytical support, and points regarding environmental impact are slightly tangential or exaggerated without solid proof. Additionally, there are minor contradictions where the student states the situation outweighs advantages, but the concluding summary refers back to disadvantages. Nevertheless, all parts of the prompt are covered, earning a solid Band 6.0.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay is divided into an introduction, body paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion, showing an overall logical arrangement. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate ideas. However, the progression of ideas can feel mechanical due to repetitive transitional phrases like 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand'. Furthermore, referencing is sometimes unclear, such as 'Because of which the economy of a country becomes affected' and 'in middle east is was recored 29%, in 2024. Which meant...', where sentence fragments and incorrect pronoun or linker usage disrupt the flow of information. Cohesive devices are present but handled with some faults, placing this clearly at Band 6.0.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting some less common items such as 'unemployment rate', 'imbalanced', and 'noise pollution'. However, there are noticeable spelling and word choice errors throughout the text, such as 'Basicly', 'runned', 'genration', 'mind-set', 'benifical', and 'countinue'. Collocations are sometimes awkward, for example 'considerably evaluated' instead of 'significantly elevated'. While these lexical inaccuracies and spelling mistakes do not prevent communication of the core ideas, they restrict the score to Band 6.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some control over structure. However, grammatical errors and punctuation issues are frequent. Examples include passive voice errors ('is was recored'), fragment sentences ('Which meant many youngsters...'), article omissions ('in middle east', 'built tall buildings for a roof over there head'), and spelling/homophone confusion ('there' instead of 'their'). Although these errors do not completely impede communication, their frequency prevents the text from reaching Band 6.0, aligning it more closely with the Band 5.0 descriptors due to the persistence of noticeable structural and mechanical mistakes.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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