Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

As the world is evolving rapidly, the size of the population also increases quickly. At the present time, some countries' population includes a relatively large number of young adults, rather than the number of older people. From my perspective, there are many pros and cons associated with this issue. However, its advantages can outweigh the disadvantages. This essay will highlight the major benefits and drawbacks of having a large number of young people than older, and also help to provide better understanding of this situation.

One of the major advantages of having more young adults than older people is that it theycan enhance the economic growth, as they can boost the production of essential things, as young generations have more knowledge and skills regarding the current techniques and modern procedures. These young creative individuals can apply their knowledge in thr practical world rather than relying on traditional methods as older generations do. For instance, the mahoirty of the businesses have become successful by hiring young entrepreneurs, which can bring innovative ideas, whose implementation can lead to the success of businesses. Therefore, young people can increase the producion of various products as they are more creative and productive than older people.

Another advantage of having a large number of young people is that they can bring motivation and encouragement in professional life. Older group of people are not keen to learn new skills and methods to enhance their performance and they generally prefer to rely on traditional patterns. However, young persons are more interested in gathering new valuable information about new procedures and they do their task with more dedication and motivation than old ones.

In contrast, one of the major disadvantages includes the extra burden on education and employment systems. If there are more young people in a country, it will lead to the development of additional pressure on various state sectors including education, health care and employment, as more people will seek their basic rights . The clear illustration of this is provided by various developed countries, where young generations are appealing for their basic needs and demands.

Although having a large number of young people can exert extra pressure on education and employment systems, I believe that its advantages are greater because young people are more creative and productive, and can assist in expanding economic growth.

Overall, having younger people might have various disadvantages but its advantages can outweigh it.From my perspective, younger people are more beneficial for a country's financial growth as they are more dedicated and productive than older people.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of having a large young adult population, ultimately taking a clear position that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. The ideas are generally relevant, focusing on economic growth, productivity, and the strain on public services. However, the development of ideas tends to be repetitive, particularly regarding young people being more productive and creative, which limits the depth of the argument. Additionally, some generalizations about older people being completely unwilling to learn new skills are a bit extreme and under-supported. Overall, the task is adequately addressed, earning a Band 6.0.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay is generally coherent and follows a logical organizational structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate different points, such as economic benefits versus the burden on state services. However, cohesion at the sentence level is occasionally faulty or mechanical. For example, phrases like 'One of the major advantages... Another advantage... In contrast, one of the major disadvantages...' follow a very rigid formula. Furthermore, referencing is sometimes unclear, and cohesive devices are occasionally over-used or repetitive, resulting in a somewhat mechanical flow rather than a smooth progression of ideas. This places the response firmly at Band 6.0.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully incorporating terms such as 'entrepreneurs', 'innovative ideas', 'economic growth', and 'health care'. There are, however, several spelling and word-choice errors throughout the text, including 'producion' instead of 'production', 'thrpractical' instead of 'the practical', and 'mahoirty' instead of 'majority'. The writer also attempts less common vocabulary with occasional inaccuracy in collocation, such as 'bring motivation and encouragement in professional life'. While these errors do not impede communication, they prevent the lexical score from reaching the higher bands, making a Band 6.0 appropriate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The writer uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some control over multi-clause structures such as 'If there are more young people in a country, it will lead to the development of additional pressure...'. However, there are frequent grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, including subject-verb agreement issues ('it theycan enhance', 'Older group of people are') and redundant constructions ('having a large number of young people than older'). Punctuation and article usage also show inconsistencies. Although these errors rarely impede overall communication, the frequency of grammatical slips prevents the response from achieving a Band 7.0, corresponding to a Band 6.0.

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