Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Recently, the population of some nations includes a significantly large number of young adults as compared to the number of elderly people. In my opinion, advantages such as skilled manpower and strong labours can definitely outweigh its drawback.

To begin with, one of the major disadvantages of younger individuals as compared to older people is the lack of experience. As elderly people have been working in their specialised field for quite a long time, they have various experience that younger people are lacking. Due to this, older people can adapt to the change in work environment where young adults seem to struggle. For example, an experienced plumber is able to fix the drainage relatively quicker then the newer one.

Nevertheless, the benefits of this situation are substantial. First and foremost, younger residents provide more skilled manpower as compared to older generation. This is mainly because most of the younger citizens in this era are well educated such that they can provide more help to the government or companies. For example, more than 80% of the Samsung's software development team are under 30 years old.

In addition to this, younger people are relatively more fit and healthy then elderly people. Due to this young adults can perform labour works relatively quickly and more accurately. This can seriously increase the development speed of the country as young individuals require less rest and comfort as compared to older people. In addition to this, most of the elderly individuals suffer from some kind of health related problems such as asthama, low hearing and so on.

To conclude, while the primary disadvantage of young adults is the lack of experience, the benefits namely, skilled manpower and strong labours strongly outweigh it. Therefore, I firmly believe that the overall merits surpass the drawback.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response6.0
Coherence and Cohesion6.0
Lexical Resource5.5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.5
Overall6.0

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of having a large proportion of young adults compared to older people. The student takes a clear position in the introduction and concludes by reiterating that the advantages outweigh the drawbacks. Ideas are generally relevant, such as mentioning skilled manpower and physical stamina as advantages, and experience as a disadvantage. However, some arguments lack deeper extension and could be further supported with more nuanced examples. For instance, the example regarding the Samsung development team is relevant, but the overall development of ideas tends to over-generalize slightly. Despite this, the main prompt requirements are fully met, earning a solid band score of 6.5.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay displays a logical overall progression and is divided into clear paragraphs with distinct functions. The introduction outlines the topic and the writer's stance, followed by a body paragraph discussing the disadvantage, two body paragraphs highlighting the advantages, and a concluding summary. Cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'Nevertheless', and 'In addition to this' are used to connect ideas, although some transitions feel slightly mechanical or repetitive, such as the repeated use of 'In addition to this'. Paragraphing is handled appropriately, ensuring that each paragraph has a central topic. Referencing is mostly clear throughout the text, allowing the reader to follow the argument without confusion. This performance aligns well with the descriptors for Band 6.5 to 7.0, and a score of 6.5 is appropriate.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task and attempts some less common items such as 'specialised field', 'substantial', and 'manpower'. However, there are some noticeable inaccuracies in word choice, collocation, and spelling. For instance, the phrase 'strong labours' is unnatural, as 'labour' is typically uncountable in this context or referred to as 'a strong workforce'. Additionally, 'then' is used incorrectly instead of 'than' in multiple instances ('quicker then the newer one' and 'more fit and healthy then elderly people'), and 'asthama' contains a spelling error. Despite these flaws, the vocabulary is sufficient to convey the intended meaning without impeding communication, meriting a Band 6.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including conditional and comparative structures such as 'As elderly people have been working... they have various experience that younger people are lacking.' However, there are persistent grammatical errors throughout the text. These include missing pluralization or articles ('various experience' instead of 'various experiences', 'Samsung's software development team' instead of 'Samsung software development team'), preposition and comparative confusions ('quicker then' instead of 'quicker than'), and minor subject-verb agreement slips. While these errors do not impede overall communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. Therefore, a band score of 6.0 is justified.

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