Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-24
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Currently, few backward countries has a relatively large younger population as compared to the senior citizens. Younger people plays a pivitol role in the development and the prosperity of a country. I firmly believe that their advantages outweigh the disadvantages of having young populas.
Generally, countries which have large number of older people trend to spend huge amount of money on their treatment and monthly stipend.
Also, they are not able to do any work and take part in the country's development. For example, countries such as Japan, Italy, has huge number of old people and their livelihood totally depend on the stipend given by the government wihich put extra burden on the taxpayers money. Moreover, countries with older citizen are huge in ther numbr always depend on the diaspora who runs the come their and run the economy.
On the other hand, younger adults are considered as the greatest blessing because they a young, energentic, and could perform any task with shear dedication. To illustrate further, China and India holding a enormous youngsters which works in different sectors with low wages, that why investors always looking forward to these countries who provides quality products within low budgets. Furthermore, if younger people move to abroad they indirectly serve their homeland as well in terms of remittances which is major passive source of income for a country.
To wrap it up, Although, older people are necessary for a country but younger one could be more benefital for the growth, development and progess of any autonomous state.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
The response addresses the prompt by discussing the advantages and disadvantages of a population with a large number of young adults, stating a clear position that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Ideas are extended and supported with examples such as Japan, Italy, China, and India, although some arguments are slightly generalized or repetitive. For instance, the mention of older populations depending on government stipends is illustrated clearly, and the economic contribution of younger populations through low-cost labor and remittances is also developed. While some points lack deeper nuance, the prompt is fully addressed with a clear position throughout, aligning well with the Band 6.0 to 6.5 criteria.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The essay is divided into a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, showing an overall logical arrangement. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate different arguments, such as discussing older populations in paragraph two and younger populations in paragraph three. However, coherence is sometimes hindered by mechanical or faulty cohesive devices and referencing issues, such as 'countries with older citizen are huge in ther numbr always depend on the diaspora who runs the come their and run the economy.' Transitions like 'To illustrate further' are used, but overall sentence-to-sentence flow can feel disjointed due to structural awkwardness, placing this performance at a solid Band 5.5.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting less common items such as 'prosperity', 'stipend', 'diaspora', and 'remittances'. However, there are frequent noticeable errors in word choice, spelling, and collocation throughout the text, such as 'backward countries has' instead of developing countries, 'pivitol' instead of pivotal, 'populas' instead of population, 'trend' instead of tend, and 'benefital' instead of beneficial. These lexical inaccuracies and spelling errors sometimes cause slight difficulty for the reader, fitting the Band 5.5 descriptors.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, incorporating relative clauses and conditional structures. However, grammatical accuracy is weak, featuring frequent errors such as subject-verb agreement issues ('few backward countries has', 'younger people plays', 'countries such as Japan, Italy, has'), incorrect verb forms ('could perform any task with shear dedication', 'who provides'), and punctuation or preposition errors. These errors occur consistently throughout the text and occasionally impede communication, positioning the grammar at a Band 5.0 level.
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