Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-25
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
It is true that in recent years, the population of several nations includes an increasing number of young adults, compared with the population of older people. I think there is disadvantages outweigh the advantage as the proportion of young generation is rise day by day, which affects the older people.
In my opinion, in some countries there is no limitation about the children's birth, while many countries have restriction for birth of a children, they said that two childrens are enough for a parents. However, everyone cannot listen to them. That's why, the population of older people are declined gradually. For example, in Bangladesh, there has four or five children in each parent, for this reason the number of young generaton increased rapidly.
Furthermore, young generation can play a great role in every nations every catagory like economically, politically etc in every govt. section. In this case the number of unemployment is increasing. Many people cannot find any job that's why they became unemployed and it hampers their family.Additionally, most of the students try to do tuition, which can help them financially but it's not their permanent job. Moreover some people attempt for suicide even do not think about their family members.In contrast, older people feel loneliness when their children get married and they became busy with their married life.
Ultimately, the proportion of young adults is greater than older people. And the old people feel bored when their age is over 50, they can not do anything without taking anyones help. So I think parents should concentrate about their childrens grow.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The response attempts to address the prompt regarding whether a large population of young adults compared to older people has more advantages or disadvantages. The writer takes a clear position, stating that disadvantages outweigh advantages. However, the development of ideas is limited and sometimes confused. For example, the student introduces birth restrictions and family size in Bangladesh as reasons for the decline of older people, which lacks strong logical connection to the core issue. Furthermore, the discussion on unemployment and mental health jumps abruptly without sustained elaboration or clear relation to the age demographic balance. While all parts of the task are touched upon, the arguments are underdeveloped and rely on sweeping generalisations, aligning closely with Band 5 descriptors.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The essay displays some overall organisation, with paragraphs dedicated to different aspects of the topic. However, the progression of ideas is frequently disrupted by abrupt transitions and unclear referencing. Phrases like 'In this case the number of unemployment is increasing' and 'Moreover some people attempt for suicide' lack adequate cohesive links to preceding sentences, making the flow disjointed. Paragraphing is attempted, but the internal structure of paragraphs is often weak, containing isolated statements rather than cohesive trains of thought. Repetitive use of basic cohesive devices is evident, and paragraph boundaries do not always contain unified topics, placing this response firmly in Band 5.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.5
The vocabulary used is generally basic and repetitive, such as 'young adults', 'older people', and 'young generation'. There are frequent word choice and collocation errors, such as 'there is disadvantages outweigh the advantage', 'limitation about the children's birth', and 'attempt for suicide'. Additionally, spelling and word formation errors, such as 'generaton' and 'childrens', occur throughout the text. While the vocabulary is minimally adequate to convey a basic message, the frequent inaccuracies and limited range prevent the response from reaching Band 6.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The student uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, but attempts at complex structures are frequently faulty. Examples include 'I think there is disadvantages outweigh the advantage' and 'for this reason the number of young generaton increased rapidly', which contain major grammatical errors. Frequent errors in tense, subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'the population of older people are declined'), and article usage are present throughout the text. These errors occasionally cause difficulty for the reader and impede smooth communication, indicating a performance characteristic of Band 4.5 to 5.0; given the persistence of basic grammatical lapses, a score of 4.5 is appropriate.
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