Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-26
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In recent decades, the population of some nations includes a relatively a significant number of the younger demographic, compared to the number of elder people. While this trend offers certain advantages. I believe it also brings some drawbacks, making it both a positive and negative development.
On the other hand, many countries believe that having a smaller elderly population also offers certain advantages. This is because the government can save money, since a substantial amount of funds use in old age subsidy and old age home. Governing bodies can spend their funds in country development such as education system and advanced technology. The young adults are contributing in country economy and discoveries. A clear example of this is that many adults make new technology and learning new skills, which can help to secure their future, even latest technology like Artificial Intelligence made by a younger boy. Consequently, the young individuals more contribute in countries then older people.
On the other hand, if young adults population more in the world they can face several challenges for them. The main reason for this is that over population creates less opportunities for the people and mitigate chances to get jobs. Furthermore, older people provide right direction to children and make safe environment in society. For instance, children often learn numerous things from their grandparents because they have life experience, older people help to make a honest person. As a consequence, older individuals provide better future and show right direction.
In conclusion, the government can save their money, which spend in old people facilities, young individuals participate in country economy. However, older people have great experience, so they help children to see pathways of life.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of having a population with a large number of young adults. However, the position stated in the introduction is slightly contradictory and confusing ('making it both a positive and negative development' while trying to answer whether advantages outweigh disadvantages). Furthermore, the arguments are somewhat under-developed and repetitive, particularly regarding government spending and the role of older people. For instance, the point that 'government can save money' is introduced but lacks depth or specific fiscal context. While all parts of the task are touched upon, the lack of a clear, sustained position and limited development of ideas places this criterion at Band 6.0.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The response demonstrates a coherent overall arrangement and follows a logical paragraph structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting contrasting views, and a conclusion. However, cohesive devices are often faulty or mechanical, such as repeating 'On the other hand' to introduce both body paragraphs instead of contrasting them properly. Additionally, referencing and pronoun use can be confusing, as seen in sentences like 'if young adults population more in the world they can face several challenges for them.' Paragraphing is used, but internal flow is sometimes disrupted by awkward transitions, resulting in a Band 5.5 score.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting some less common items such as 'demographic', 'subsidy', and 'governing bodies'. However, there are frequent word choice and collocation errors throughout the essay, such as 'a relatively a significant number', 'funds use in old age subsidy', and 'young individuals more contribute in countries then older people'. Spelling is generally correct, but inaccuracies in word formation and phrasing limit precision, placing the vocabulary squarely in the Band 5.5 range.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, but control is inconsistent. There are numerous grammatical errors, including missing articles ('contributing in country economy'), incorrect prepositions ('contribute in countries'), and awkward phrasing or fragment structures (e.g., 'Since a substantial amount of funds use in old age subsidy'). Many complex sentences contain structural flaws that occasionally impede smooth communication. However, basic meaning remains understandable throughout, justifying a Band 5.0.
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