Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In recent times, in several nations, the young adults population is relatively larger than the population of the older people. While this trend offers certain advantages in terms of, economic growth and vibrant consumer markets, productivity, it also brings notable drawbacks that should not be ignored, unemployment, aging crisis. In my opinion, the advantages will outweigh the disadvantages.

Initially, if the population of young adults will be larger than the older people, then the country's economic growth will be boosted. Secondly, there will be more working individual which will help in the development of the country and earnings will increase, and help in the GDP of the country. Young individuals and families enter peak spending years as they purchase housing, vehicles, education, and consumer goods. This robust domestic demand insulates the local economy from global market volatility and drives continuous business revenue.

However, this also brings notable drawbacks such as, unemployment. Unemployment can be the biggest drawback, as the population of young adults is more, than there will be less chances of getting a job, or there will be tough competition in the market in every business. Furthermore, aging crisis, will happen after several decades. For instance- there is a population of 10 million individuals in a particular country, out of which 8 million are young adults and other are of older age or younger, then after several decades they will come at retiring age, at that time older people population can outweigh the population of young people.

In conclusion, despite the disadvantages (unemployment, aging crisis) of more population of young people as compared to older people in a country, the advantages (economic growth, vibrant consumer markets) outweigh the disadvantages of it.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The student addresses all parts of the task by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of having a population with a large proportion of young adults compared to older people, and provides a clear overall position in the introduction and conclusion. The ideas presented, such as economic growth, increased workforce, and challenges like unemployment and the future aging crisis, are relevant to the prompt. However, some arguments lack deep extension and rely on listing rather than thorough elaboration. For example, the point about the aging crisis is introduced with a hypothetical numeric example, but the reasoning could be more fully developed to meet Band 7 descriptors. Overall, the response fulfills the requirements of the task adequately, placing it firmly at a Band 6.5 or 7.0 range, justified by clear positioning and relevant, though slightly generalized, supporting points.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response maintains a clear overall arrangement with an introduction, body paragraphs addressing each side of the argument, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate ideas. Cohesive devices such as 'Initially', 'Secondly', 'However', and 'In conclusion' are employed to guide the reader through the text, though some transitions feel slightly mechanical or repetitive in structure. Referencing is generally clear, though occasional clumsy punctuation (e.g., intrusive commas separating items in lists like 'economic growth and vibrant consumer markets, productivity') disrupts the flow slightly. Logical progression is visible throughout the essay, meeting the criteria for Band 6.5, leaning towards Band 7.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The student demonstrates an adequate vocabulary range for the task, successfully attempting less common vocabulary items such as 'robust domestic demand', 'market volatility', and 'aging crisis'. However, there are noticeable word choice and collocation slips, such as 'young adults population' instead of 'young adult population', and 'more working individual' instead of 'more working individuals'. Spelling is generally accurate, but awkward phrasing in places restricts the score. The vocabulary used is sufficient to communicate the main ideas clearly, corresponding well to the Band 6 descriptor where an adequate range is used with occasional inaccuracies.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, incorporating conditional structures ('if the population of young adults will be larger') and relative clauses. However, grammatical control is inconsistent, featuring errors such as tense misuse in conditionals ('if the population... will be larger than... then... will be'), missing articles, and awkward comma splices ('Unemployment can be the biggest drawback, as the population of young adults is more, than there will be less chances...'). While these errors do not severely impede overall communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent the essay from reaching a Band 7. The structural variety is present, but accuracy issues place it comfortably at Band 6.0.

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