Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-27
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
At now, the population of several countries includes a relatively huge figures of youth, compared with the number of elder individuals. In my opinion, this essay have many advantages and drawbacks. Positive side, young people have high potentials energy and negative side lack of experience.
To begin with, the one primary advantage is that young people are energetic because they can do any thing and they are learning new things day by day. Youngster are curies to learn new thing and gives the benefits of their country. Youth have high energy that they can work on our country as well as they anytime ready for any work. For example, nowadays, technology has great impact on young people they can want to something innovate that can helps our country. As a results, young people can do any thing if they want and their mind and their body have high energy.
Furthermore, the one drawback is that, older people have experience because they can spend our life a lot of trouble and see lots of situations therefore, they have high experience. For instance, older generation gives advice for young people this is good for you or bad. In addition, the another disadvantage is that the older population are less in country so they young people are confuse about anything because older individuals can say clearly about it.
In conclusion, this essay have several advantages and disadvantages. Young people can do any thing and they are wanted to go ahead so it is crucial for a country. Instead, older people have high experience so the lack of elder people is very bad f
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The response attempts to address the prompt by discussing the advantages and disadvantages of a population with a high proportion of young adults. However, the development of ideas is limited and somewhat repetitive. Phrases like 'young people have high potentials energy' and 'young people can do any thing' illustrate a tendency to over-generalise without providing robust, detailed support or concrete examples. Furthermore, the stance in the introduction is overly neutral and descriptive rather than taking a clear position, though the body paragraphs do attempt to weigh pros and cons. While all parts of the task are touched upon, the arguments remain underdeveloped, aligning closely with Band 5 descriptors where ideas are limited and lack depth.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The essay is divided into paragraphs, including an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a truncated conclusion, which shows a basic structure. However, the logical progression is frequently disrupted by awkward referencing and repetitive transitional phrases such as 'To begin with, the one primary advantage' and 'In addition, the another disadvantage'. Cohesive devices are sometimes inaccurate or overused, and referencing is often unclear (e.g., 'older population are less in country so they young people are confuse about anything'). Paragraphing is attempted, but the conclusion is incomplete, abruptly cutting off mid-sentence. Overall organisation is present, but progression lacks clarity and flow, which fits the Band 5 descriptor.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The lexical resource is limited and basic. The student uses repetitive vocabulary such as 'young people', 'older people', 'high energy', and 'experience' throughout the text. There are numerous word choice and collocation errors, such as 'huge figures of youth', 'potentials energy', 'curies to learn', and 'spend our life a lot of trouble'. Attempts at less common vocabulary result in noticeable inaccuracies, and spelling/word-formation errors (e.g., 'curies' for curious, 'innovate' for innovation) occur frequently. While the vocabulary is minimally adequate to convey the general topic, it restricts precision and causes occasional strain for the reader, placing it firmly at Band 5.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but control over grammar is weak. There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues ('this essay have', 'youngster are curies', 'the older population are'), incorrect pronoun usage ('on our country', 'spend our life'), and awkward phrasing ('they can want to something innovate'). Many complex sentences are faulty and obscure the intended meaning. Although some simple sentences are communicated successfully, frequent errors in punctuation and grammar cause noticeable difficulty for the reader, which corresponds to the Band 5 descriptors.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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