Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In today's world, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Although this situation has certain benefits, I believe that the disadvantages in terms of a lack of motivation and experience, are more significant.

One of the main advantages is better productivity and innovations. This is because young adults have a high level of creativity. They can produce products in a more effective way, which even leads to innovations. As a result, young people may achieve higher productivity and may lead to innovations. Another benefit is their hardworking attitude. Older people may sometimes give up too early due to their constraints, while young adults work hard to complete the task because of their never give-up attitude. This attitude may help in facing tough times in their daily and professional life.

Despite these advantages, there are certain drawbacks of this trend. Firstly, fewer number of older people in the society may lead to a lack of motivation to young adults. For example, If a young person is stuck in a difficult situation, an elder person may motivate them and provide advice to face this situation. Secondly, a lack of older people in an industry may create difficulty while achieving results of a task. This is because older people have experience to solve complex problems that occurs while achieving the task. If older people are not present in such situations, young adults may not able to solve this due to a lack of experience.

In conclusion, while this view has certain advantages such as better productivity and hardworking attitude, its drawbacks in terms of a lack of motivation and experience are more significant. Therefore, I believe that the advantages of this method do not outweigh the disadvantages.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The student addresses all parts of the task by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of having a large proportion of young adults in a country's population, and clearly states a position in the introduction and conclusion. The ideas are relevant, proposing productivity, innovation, and a hardworking attitude as benefits, while citing a lack of motivation and experience as drawbacks. However, some ideas tend to be repetitive; for instance, the notion that young adults bring innovation is stated multiple times in the second paragraph without significant extension. Additionally, the development of the disadvantages is somewhat generalized rather than fully explored with deep examples. Despite these minor limitations, a clear position is maintained throughout, corresponding to a Band 6.5 or solid Band 7 descriptor.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response features a clear logical organisation and progression. The essay is divided into sensible paragraphs: an introduction, two body paragraphs exploring advantages and disadvantages respectively, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices are used to guide the reader, such as 'One of the main advantages is', 'Despite these advantages,', and 'In conclusion'. However, some referencing and cohesive links feel slightly mechanical or repetitive, such as 'This is because' being used multiple times in close proximity. Paragraphing is used appropriately overall, but the internal flow of ideas within the body paragraphs occasionally stalls due to the repetition of similar points. This reflects the characteristics of Band 6.5.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common items such as 'productivity', 'innovations', 'constraints', and 'professional life'. However, there are noticeable limitations and occasional inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. For instance, the phrase 'fewer number of older people' contains a grammatical inaccuracy (it should be 'smaller number'), and the expression 'achieving results of a task' is somewhat unnatural. Furthermore, some vocabulary is repeated rather than paraphrased, such as the frequent reuse of 'young adults', 'older people', and 'experience'. These factors place the lexical control firmly at Band 6.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The writer uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including conditional structures like 'If a young person is stuck...'. There are several grammatical errors present throughout the text, such as 'fewer number of older people in the society' (article omission and quantifier mismatch), 'complex problems that occurs' (subject-verb agreement error), and 'young adults may not able to solve' (missing auxiliary verb 'be'). Although these errors occur, they rarely impede overall communication, and the meaning of the essay remains clear. This performance aligns well with the Band 6 descriptors for grammatical range and accuracy.

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