Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-27
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Population is the main concern among the countires and at present, several countries included a significant number of young people as compared to older people. In this essay, I will discuss the both advantages and disadvantages and explain with relevant examples of my own life.
It can be seen that, young adults has more ability to perform the task and has maximum potential at this age. The countries which have large number of young people are developing more frequently which effect the nation economically and also in industrial factors. The reason behind successfull countries is one of the availbility of adults in excessive amount which maintains the balance between risk involvement and crises of labour shortage. The professions that have accessibilty of only those person who can beer the load of aggriculture are the young adults and government can obtain benefit from them.
Despite, there are benefits but relatively serious consequences can be seen in the countries where older people have less population and younger ones are in outweigh their proportion. Although majority violations and breaking of rules are belong to populated countries where the criminal list shows maximum number of young people. Because of this many countries also has problematic situations that cause them difficulty to manage their regulations.
In conclusion, both situations has strong effect on the countries. However, from my perspective, I believe that there should be strict regulations through which a country can benefit and stay away from crimes which cause damage to their society as well as country's reputaion.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of having a large proportion of young adults in a population, fulfilling the core requirements of the task. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited and lacks depth. For example, the advantage regarding economic development and industrial factors is stated rather than fully explored or supported with concrete examples. Similarly, the disadvantage regarding crime is mentioned generally without specific explanation. The writer does attempt to take a clear position in the conclusion regarding regulations, though the overall progression of ideas is slightly hindered by underdeveloped arguments. This places the response comfortably at Band 5.5 to Band 6.0, fitting best into Band 6.0 for addressing all parts of the task with relevant, if somewhat generalised, ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The essay is divided into four paragraphs, following a standard introductory and concluding structure with two body paragraphs focusing on advantages and disadvantages respectively. Progression is generally apparent, guiding the reader from the introduction through the two contrasting sides of the issue. However, the use of cohesive devices is at times mechanical or awkward, such as starting paragraphs with 'It can be seen that' or 'Despite, there are benefits'. Referencing and logical transitions between sentences could be smoother to enhance the overall flow. Paragraphing is used sufficiently to separate distinct ideas, but within paragraphs, the connection between sentences occasionally feels disjointed, warranting a Band 5.5 descriptor.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting some less common words and phrases such as 'economically', 'industrial factors', and 'reputation'. However, there are numerous lexical errors and awkward collocations throughout the text, including 'countires' (countries), 'successfull' (successful), 'availbility' (availability), 'aggriculture' (agriculture), and 'beer the load' (bear the load). Furthermore, phrasing like 'young adults has more ability' and 'maximum number of young people' shows limitations in word choice and control. While these errors do not completely impede communication, their frequency prevents the score from reaching Band 6.0, making Band 5.5 a fair representation of the student's lexical control.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The essay displays a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating an attempt at varied syntactic structures. However, grammatical accuracy is weak throughout the response, with frequent errors in subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'young adults has', 'countries included', 'situations has'), article usage, and prepositions. For instance, the sentence 'The professions that have accessibilty of only those person who can beer the load of aggriculture are the young adults' contains multiple grammatical slips and structural awkwardness. Punctuation is generally basic, and errors frequently occur across sentences, although meaning remains mostly retrievable. This performance aligns with the Band 5 descriptors.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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