Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

some people believe that at the present time the population of some countries includes relatively large number of young adults as compared with the number of older people it has some postive and negative.aspects l will mentionely below that is most crucial considerable benefits and drawbacks of young adults population fistly mostly young adults do not care of their health in which reason people are engaged in work. they do not regularly exercise. some work pressures and stress also exhaustion.mostly older people take care of their health walk and exercise daily. exercise is also crucial for health. physical exercise are essential for development of person.it also make the body strong and reduce mental stress nowadays numerous adults do not exercise daily they are also engaged in life older people are more carefully about their diet health and regular check-up. they can also active the long run. population is increases young adult in many countries it big drawbacks is that it not eat healthy food get enough sleep more spend time on television and do not focus on health. negative aspect can damage the health nowadays people eat junk food and also taste spicy food it is not good for health. young adults 40 to 50 are grow in older people.japan country older pollution is high as comared to young adults its reason ward war 2.usa has throw the atom boob and destroy the two cities there numerous adults died in conclusion young adults also take their health do regular exercise and eat health food l think there more disadvantage rather than advantage

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response attempts to address the prompt regarding the advantages and disadvantages of a population with a large number of young adults, taking a clear position that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. However, the development of ideas is severely limited and often confused. The student misinterprets the core social issue by drifting into health and lifestyle habits, and introduces irrelevant historical anecdotes about World War II and the atomic bombing of Japan. While the prompt is addressed minimally, the arguments regarding health are repetitive and lack adequate elaboration or appropriate examples relevant to the demographic shift itself. Consequently, the response aligns best with Band 4 descriptors.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The text lacks clear overall organisation and paragraphing. The entire response is presented as a single, dense block of text without logical paragraph breaks to separate the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Cohesive devices are either missing or misused, with repetitive transitions such as 'fistly' and 'in conclusion' failing to guide the reader smoothly through the argument. Referencing is frequently unclear, as seen in confusing pronoun shifts like 'usa has throw the atom boob and destroy the two cities'. Information and ideas are not arranged in a coherent sequence, resulting in a score of 4.0.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.0

The vocabulary used is very basic, repetitive, and heavily flawed. The student relies on elementary terms such as 'people', 'health', 'work', and 'country', and repeats words like 'exercise' and 'adults' frequently. There are numerous word choice and collocation errors, such as 'postive and negative.aspects', 'carefully about their diet', and 'eat health food'. Spelling errors are prominent, including 'postive', 'mentionely', 'fistly', 'carefully' (used instead of careful), and 'boob' instead of bomb. These lexical inadequacies and errors frequently strain the reader and obscure meaning, placing the response firmly in Band 4.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

The grammatical range is extremely limited, consisting mostly of disjointed simple sentences and frequent failed attempts at complex structures. Punctuation is largely absent, with missing capitalization at the beginning of sentences and run-on phrasing. There are persistent, major grammatical errors throughout, such as 'it has some postive and negative.aspects', 'young adults 40 to 50 are grow in older people', and 'japan country older pollution is high as comared to young adults'. Subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, and article usage are frequently incorrect, causing severe difficulty for the reader and justifying a band score of 4.0.

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