Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-27
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Nowadays, the population of youngsters are significantly higher as compared to the proportion of older individuals in some countries. I firmly believe that the advantages outweigh the drawbacks because young adults play crucial role in social and economic growth. Youngsters are bright stars of the upcoming future of each country.
Young adults has carried out a significant benefits for the society. Young people enhanced the economic growth of a country. For example, in Pakistan, many youngsters work at offices, hospitals, and Labs. They are doing hard work for company establishment and growth, serving for humanity, and research against numerous diseases in labs. As a police inspector, they provide protection to the society. Therefore, a society without the participation of younsgters is totally uncomplete.
Furthermore, youngsters are the role model for the nation. They work hard to make the country proud. For instance, a Pakistani player, won a gold medal in the Asia as a olympic champion. Behind this triumph, there are a lot of hard work, patience and wisdom. He won the gold medal all around the work and its a proud moment for Pakistan. He also encourages the young adults to never give up their dreams and work consistensily for victory. As a result, youngsters are proud of each country.
In conclusion, although older people are important for families reunion, young adults play a vital role in social cognitive and growth. I believe that advantages outweigh the drawbacks because larger population of young adults are the identity of achievements of each country.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear position that the advantages of having a large young adult population outweigh the disadvantages. Relevant ideas are presented, such as economic growth and contributions to society through various professions and achievements. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat superficial and repetitive, tending to over-generalise rather than fully extend points. For instance, the example of a Pakistani player winning a gold medal is somewhat disconnected from the broader socio-economic argument, and the counter-argument regarding older people is handled very briefly in the conclusion. While all parts of the prompt are addressed, the depth of support places this response firmly in the Band 6 category, as some ideas are under-developed.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The essay displays a generally coherent overall arrangement with a clear attempt at paragraphing, separating the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Cohesive devices such as 'Furthermore', 'For instance', and 'In conclusion' are used to guide the reader through the text, although some transitions feel a bit mechanical. Referencing is occasionally unclear, as seen in the phrasing 'and its a proud moment' or the sudden shift in the second body paragraph to an individual sporting example. Paragraphing is used sufficiently to structure the argument, but logical progression within paragraphs could be smoother and better connected to the main thesis. These traits align well with the Band 6 descriptor for Coherence and Cohesion.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting some less common items such as 'proportion', 'crucial role', 'establishment', and 'triumph'. However, there are noticeable lexical errors and awkward collocations throughout the text, including 'population of youngsters are' (subject-verb agreement), 'carried out a significant benefits', 'company establishment', 'younsgters is totally uncomplete', and 'consistensily'. Furthermore, spelling and word-form errors like 'younsgters' and 'consistensily' detract from precision. Despite these limitations, the vocabulary used is sufficient to convey the main points clearly without significantly impeding communication, which is characteristic of Band 5.5 to 6.0, leaning towards a 6.0 for adequate task coverage.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The response exhibits a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, but grammatical accuracy is weak. There are frequent errors in basic grammar, tense usage, and subject-verb agreement, such as 'the population of youngsters are', 'Young adults has carried out', 'a lot of hard work, patience and wisdom' (missing articles/structure), and punctuation issues. Complex structures are attempted, but they often contain errors that distract the reader, such as 'Although older people are important for families reunion, young adults play a vital role in social cognitive and growth'. While communication is not severely impeded, the high frequency of grammatical and mechanical errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band, making Band 5.0 the most accurate reflection of current control.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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