Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

At present, some countries have a much larger proportion of young adults than older people. I believe that this situation has more advantages than disadvantages because young people play an important role in economic growth and social development.

Young adults can provide significant benefits to society. First, they contribute to economic growth by working in different fields, such as businesses, hospitals and laboratories. For example, in Pakistan, many young people work in companies and healthcare institutions, while others conduct research in laboratories. They also contribute to society by providing essential services. Therefore, the active participation of young people can help a country develop economically and socially.

Furthermore, young people can become role models for their country. Many of them work hard to achieve success in sports, education and other fields. For instance, a Pakistani athlete who wins a gold medal at an international competition can inspire other young people to work towards their goals. Such achievements can make the country proud and encourage younger generations to remain determined and hardworking.

In conclusion, although older people make valuable contributions to families and society, I believe that having a larger young population has more advantages than disadvantages. Young adults can contribute to economic development, provide essential services and inspire others through their achievements.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The student addresses the prompt by taking a clear position that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages and discusses both economic and social benefits. Ideas such as economic contributions and role models are presented and supported with examples from Pakistan. However, the response is critically penalised for length, as it contains only 211 words, falling significantly short of the 250-word minimum requirement. Consequently, the ideas are somewhat limited and under-developed, preventing the essay from reaching a higher band. To improve, the writer must ensure they meet the word count threshold and expand further upon the counterarguments or provide deeper analysis.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response is organized into a clear four-paragraph structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. There is a logical progression of ideas, moving from economic advantages to social role models. Cohesive devices are used adequately to connect sentences and paragraphs, such as "First", "Furthermore", and "In conclusion". Paragraphing is handled well, ensuring each main idea is distinct. While referencing is generally clear, the overall cohesion can feel slightly mechanical due to formulaic transitional markers. Nevertheless, the organizational framework successfully guides the reader through the argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully using terms such as "proportion", "economic growth", "essential services", and "international competition". There are attempts to use less common vocabulary like "healthcare institutions" and "determined". However, the vocabulary tends to be repetitive and lacks sophistication in places, such as relying heavily on basic descriptors like "many young people" and "important role". Spelling and word choice are generally accurate, and communication is never impeded by lexical errors. To achieve a higher band, the student should incorporate a wider variety of precise collocations and less common academic lexis.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The writer uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating control over relative clauses and conditional structures, such as "For instance, a Pakistani athlete who wins a gold medal... can inspire other young people". Grammatical accuracy is reasonably high, with many error-free sentences produced throughout the text. Punctuation is used correctly, and occasional errors do not impede communication. The range of structures is sufficient, though it leans towards standard, predictable sentence patterns rather than truly flexible or sophisticated syntax. Overall, the grammatical control reflects a solid intermediate level.

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