Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In contemporary society, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults in comparison to the number of older people. I believe that the advantages of this situation, such as higher productivity, outweigh the drawbacks because most older people are dependants.

A particularly noteworthy advantage of this trend is its potential to increase the productivity of a nation. This is due to the fact that young people can do more work compared with older people, thereby increasing output, which may in turn lead to higher productivity. Essentially, when more work is done in a factory, for instance, the retuns may go up, which might increase their sales in the long run.

On the other hand, older generation may have weak immune system, which makes them prone to illnesses, as a consequence, they may need more medical attention and financial assistance from the younger generation.This is particularly concerning since it may be costly to young adults, thereby putting a lot of pressure to them. By not being able to support themselves, older people are better positioned to depend on young indivuduals, which can subsequently lead to dependence. For instance, the age care programe in developed countries illustrates how young people are being hired to take care of the old individuals. Ultimately, this can reduce economic growth in the long run.

In conclusion, although the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults than older people, I believe that its benefits outweigh the disadvantages because younger individuals can improve the countries economy, while older individuals may cause dependance.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The student addresses all parts of the task by presenting a clear position regarding whether a high population of young adults has more advantages than disadvantages. The main ideas, such as productivity increases and the medical or financial burdens of an older population, are introduced and supported. However, the development of ideas tends to be slightly repetitive and somewhat simplistic. For instance, the argument regarding productivity is generalised without concrete data or specific societal examples. Similarly, the discussion on the older generation focuses primarily on dependency without fully exploring other socioeconomic factors. Nevertheless, the response maintains a clear overall stance throughout, fulfilling the basic requirements for a Band 6.5 or 6.0. The writer presents a relevant argument, but the depth of support keeps it firmly at the Band 6.0 level, as some points lack sufficient elaboration and depth of insight.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with clear paragraphing, dividing the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion appropriately. The writer attempts to use cohesive devices and transition signals, such as 'A particularly noteworthy advantage', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion'. However, there are some mechanical or awkward transitions, such as 'This is particularly concerning since it may be costly to young adults, thereby putting a lot of pressure to them.' Additionally, referencing is occasionally imprecise, as seen in the phrase 'putting a lot of pressure to them' where prepositional collocation is faulty. The logical progression is generally maintained from one paragraph to the next, though the linkage between sentences within the body paragraphs occasionally feels repetitive. Overall, the organizational structure meets the criteria for a Band 6.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The student demonstrates an adequate vocabulary range for the task, successfully using terms such as 'contemporary society', 'productivity', 'financial assistance', and 'economic growth'. However, there are several word choice and spelling errors that detract from precision, such as 'retuns' instead of 'returns' and 'indivuduals' instead of 'individuals'. There are also minor collocation issues, such as 'age care programe' instead of 'aged care program' or 'elderly care program', and 'pressure to them' instead of 'pressure on them'. The writer attempts to use some less common vocabulary, but these inaccuracies show a lack of full control. Consequently, the lexical resource is characteristic of a Band 6, where the vocabulary is adequate to convey the message despite noticeable spelling and word choice errors.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The student uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some control over multi-clause structures, such as in the sentence 'This is due to the fact that young people can do more work compared with older people, thereby increasing output...'. However, there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Examples include 'older generation' lacking an article (the older generation), 'weak immune system' lacking an article or pluralisation (weak immune systems), and prepositions like 'pressure to them' instead of 'pressure on them'. Furthermore, comma splices and run-on tendencies appear, such as in 'By not being able to support themselves, older people are better positioned to depend on young indivuduals, which can subsequently lead to dependence.' These grammatical errors and awkward structures cause occasional strain, placing the performance at a Band 5.5.

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