Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

( Task 2 )

It is widely aopmulated acknowledged.

It is widely acknowledged that, in many countries currently poputation of having youth-heavy population as compare to number of older people. I believe that upsides are associated more than downsides which will be explained in upcoming paragraphs with logical conclusion.

To begin with, many countries includes relatively large number of young adults, compared with older people. Primarily, the most significant factor is larger workforce. The economic growth matters because there are enormous employment vacancies, increase productivity and contribute taxes. Moreover, a country can benefit from demographic dividend when young people are educated employed. For instance, governments have less burden to provide pensions to fewer elderly people.

Furthermore, drawbacks one of this cannot be neglected. The first and foremost reason is unemployment if jobs are insufficient because increasing rapidly population of young youth immense less job opportunities. on the other hand,

another considerable disadvantage is

that having huge growth of adults

require universities, vocational training,

affordable housing and public transport.

To sum up, although, huge youth

population raise economic growth

including extreme job vacancies but

it largely depends on disadvantages

of having enormous population

young people requires many

facilities. whereas, it has significant

impact on unemployment. Consequently,

government should invest in young

people along with it older people

for their healthcare and government

should provide equal services to

youngsters and elderly people.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing the advantages and disadvantages of having a youth-heavy population, taking a position that the advantages outweigh the downsides. However, the development of ideas is limited and somewhat repetitive, especially in the body paragraphs and conclusion. Furthermore, the response falls short of the 250-word minimum length requirement, containing only 230 words. This under-length impacts task achievement as full development of ideas is restricted. While the main parts of the task are touched upon, the lack of complete development and the failure to meet the minimum word count prevent this response from achieving a higher band score.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The essay is divided into paragraphs, though some paragraph breaks appear fragmented, such as the dangling phrase 'on the other hand,' and the broken structure at the end. Cohesive devices are used, but their application is frequently mechanical or inaccurate, as seen in phrases like 'To begin with,' 'Furthermore,' and 'To sum up.' Logical progression is sometimes disrupted by abrupt shifts and incomplete sentences or thoughts, particularly in the final two paragraphs where the argument becomes muddled. Overall, the structural arrangement shows some attempt at organization, but cohesion is faulty and referencing is not always clear.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is adequate for basic communication, but it is limited and repetitive. The student attempts some less common vocabulary items, such as 'demographic dividend,' 'workforce,' and 'vocational training,' but these are often accompanied by word-choice errors, awkward collocations, or grammatical misuse, such as 'increasing rapidly population of young youth immense less job opportunities.' Spelling and word formation errors also appear throughout the text. While meaning can generally be extracted, the lexical range restricts the precision and sophistication expected at higher bands.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The writing displays a very limited range of grammatical structures. Simple sentences dominate, and attempts at complex structures are frequently faulty or incomplete, resulting in ungrammatical strings like 'many countries includes relatively large number of young adults' and 'young people requires many facilities.' There are frequent errors in subject-verb agreement, article usage, and clause structure that cause noticeable difficulty for the reader and occasionally obscure the intended meaning. Punctuation is also problematic in places, with broken sentences disrupting the flow.

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