Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-28
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
Nowadays, the population of the world is increasing day by day as compared to the increase in population in past. Especially the population of just two countries india and china is the 50% or 60% of the world. A large number of young adults can be found in every country as compared to older people.Every country's population consist 60% to 70% of the population of young adults.
Advantages of including a large number of young adults, in a country young adults play an important role in every sphere. In every field, there is a solid need of young adults the field can be IT, medical field and agricultural field etc. Young adults are also competing in every field to be number one. Take example that every student wants to score high in their studies, everyone want to be senior in their work. This thing can advantage the country.
There are also some disadvantages, a massive increase in the number of young adults can cause famine, due to this the famines are also occured in many countries in the past. Another disadvantage is that young adults do strikes in universities and colleges. This cause deaths and many other dangerous things. This has detrimental ramifications on society.
In my perception, including a large number of young adults is an advantage because many talented boys and girls helps in many situations like in economy, in representing the country at international level and help in solving the serious problems.
Conslusively, it is an advantage to including a large number of young adults but we should be aware of disadvantages as well.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of having a large young adult population, eventually taking a clear position in favour of the advantages. However, the development of ideas is limited and at times over-generalized. For example, the claim that a large young adult population causes famines lacks logical support and historical accuracy. Additionally, the introduction includes inaccurate statistics about India and China. While all parts of the task are addressed, the arguments remain underdeveloped, with assertions rather than deeply explored examples. This performance aligns closely with the Band 5 descriptor, where the task is addressed, but ideas are limited and sometimes lacking in clarity.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The response is organised into distinct paragraphs, attempting an introduction, body paragraphs covering advantages and disadvantages, a personal view, and a conclusion. However, the overall progression is somewhat disjointed. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs feel mechanical or abrupt, such as the sudden shift from advantages to the claim about famines. Referencing and cohesive devices are inadequate or repetitive, with frequent use of basic connectives like 'also' and 'another disadvantage'. Furthermore, paragraphing is poorly executed, with some paragraphs consisting of single, disjointed sentences. These features place the response firmly at Band 5 for coherence and cohesion.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The student uses a limited but minimally adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting words such as 'ramifications', 'sphere', and 'competing'. However, there are numerous noticeable errors in word choice, collocation, and spelling, such as 'occured', 'Conslusively', and 'helps' instead of 'help'. Phrases like 'do strikes' and 'the field can be IT' demonstrate a restricted control of lexical collocations. While the meaning is generally communicated despite these flaws, the repetition of basic terms like 'young adults', 'country', and 'field' prevents the vocabulary from reaching a higher band level. This warrants a Band 5 score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The essay displays a very limited range of grammatical structures. Most sentences are simple or attempting complex forms that turn out faulty, such as 'Every country's population consist 60% to 70% of the population of young adults' and 'it is an advantage to including a large number of young adults'. There are frequent errors in subject-verb agreement ('population consist', 'boys and girls helps'), preposition usage, and punctuation. These frequent errors cause some difficulty for the reader and reflect a grammar profile that fits the Band 5 descriptors, where attempts at complex sentences are often inaccurate.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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