Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-28
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In recent times, few countries have a large number of youngsters as compared to the older ones. I believe that this is a positive trend and it has various benefits to having a greater number of young people as they can contribute to the economy of the country and can provide greater benefits by providing traits such as work-efficiency, enthusiasm and progressive mind-set.
The biggest advantage of having young citizens is that they can work more efficiently and for longer hours without taking leaves, because they are at the beginning of their career and they want to achieve specific goals. As a result, they produce greater results. Furthermore, they are more energetic and are ready to experiment, which enables them to bring new ideas and implement them for the betterment of the organization. They are more likely to work and can pay higher taxes from their earnings. For instance, many countries persuade their citizens to give birth to children as they can contribute significantly to the development of their nation by paying taxes.
In contrast, older people are mostly retired and become a burden on governments. They are likely to survive on the benefits provided by the government. They may not work that efficiently because of health issues and require breaks from work regularly. Moreover, their ideas become outdated and it may get difficult for them to cope with fast-paced life. However, such professions may require the expertise of aged people but overall, they do not bring many advantages.
Taking everything into consideration, the merits of having larger younger population clearly outweigh its disadvantages.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The response addresses the prompt directly by discussing the advantages and disadvantages of a population with a large number of young adults, taking a clear position in favour of this demographic distribution. The writer attempts to support the position with ideas related to economic contributions, work efficiency, and innovation. However, the development of ideas tends to be somewhat superficial and relies on broad generalisations rather than deep elaboration. For instance, the mention of tax contributions and enthusiasm lacks specific, well-developed examples. While all parts of the task are addressed, the arguments would benefit from greater extension and nuance to reach higher bands. Nevertheless, a clear overall position is maintained throughout, satisfying the requirements for a Band 6.0.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear logical progression from introduction to body paragraphs and a brief conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately, with each body paragraph focusing on a distinct aspect: the advantages in the second paragraph and the disadvantages in the third. Cohesive devices are employed, such as 'Furthermore', 'In contrast', and 'Taking everything into consideration', though some transitions feel a bit mechanical. Referencing is generally clear, and the logical flow allows the reader to follow the writer's arguments without significant difficulty, placing this performance solidly at Band 6.5.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully incorporating terms such as 'work-efficiency', 'progressive mind-set', 'betterment', and 'fast-paced life'. There are some attempts at less common lexical items, but occasional inaccuracies occur, such as referring to older people as 'aged people' or using 'professions' instead of 'industries' or 'sectors'. Word choices are generally clear enough to communicate meaning effectively, though spelling and collocation occasionally show limitations. These characteristics align well with the descriptors for a Band 6.0.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
The essay features a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some control over grammar. Structures such as 'In recent times, few countries have a large number of youngsters as compared to the older ones' and conditional-like or relative clauses show variety. However, there are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings, such as 'it has various benefits to having' and 'such professions may require the expertise of aged people'. Punctuation is generally functional, but errors in preposition choice and article usage persist. Because these errors do not severely impede overall communication, the writing achieves a Band 6.0.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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