Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In contemporary society, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. I believe that the benefits of this trend, such as increasing productivity outweigh its drawbacks because of a high dependency ratio.

A particularly noteworthy advantage of having more young adults in a nation is its potential to increase productivity. This can be largely attributed to the fact that young people can do more work than older individuals, thereby increasing the output. In practical terms, young people are more active, and can work for longer periods with little fatigue. Essentially, in a day one young adult can do a task that could have been done by two or more older men. This can be exemplified by construction workers in a company, where they have to lift some heavy tools. Older people may find it difficult to lift some of the items, which may reduce the productivity of the company. As a consequence, young people are more efficient and productive than the older generation.

Nevertheless, it would be unrealistic to overlook the extent to which older people can cause dependency. This is particularly concerning because people's immunity may weaken as they grow older, preventing them from doing their normal duties effectively. By being exposed to various work environments, older people may be more vulnerable to diseases, which can subsequently force them to depend on young adults both socially and financially. For instance, age care services in developed countries illustrate how they depend on young adults for daily activities.

In conclusion, although the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, than the older people. I believe that the benefits of this trend, such as increasing productivity outweigh its drawbacks because of a high dependency ratio.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing whether a high proportion of young adults has more advantages or disadvantages. A clear position is stated in the introduction, arguing that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks due to productivity. The ideas are extended and supported, such as contrasting physical labor capabilities between age groups. However, there is some confusion in the reasoning, as the student argues in the third paragraph that older people cause a high dependency ratio, which slightly contradicts the premise that having more young adults is advantageous. Overall, all parts of the task are addressed with a clear position, fitting the criteria for a Band 6.5 or solid Band 7, but the slight confusion in body paragraph two brings it closer to Band 6.0 due to some under-developed or contradictory logic.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with clear paragraphing, moving from an introduction to body paragraphs discussing productivity and dependency, followed by a conclusion. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Nevertheless' and 'As a consequence'. However, referencing and logical progression are occasionally faulty, particularly in the conclusion where a fragmented sentence ('...than the older people. I believe that...') disrupts the flow. Additionally, the transition into the discussion about older people's dependency feels somewhat abrupt given the prompt's focus on populations with a large number of young adults. These issues mean the essay fits best within Band 6.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, including phrases like 'contemporary society', 'productivity', and 'dependency ratio'. There are attempts at less common lexical items, but some word choices and collocations are unnatural or inaccurate, such as 'age care services' instead of 'aged care services' or 'elderly care services', and 'heavy tools' rather than 'heavy equipment' or 'heavy materials'. Spelling is generally accurate, but some minor lexical inaccuracies exist. This range and control align well with Band 6.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing structures like relative clauses ('that could have been done by two or more older men') and conditional/participial phrases ('By being exposed to various work environments'). There are grammatical errors and punctuation issues, most notably in the final paragraph where a sentence fragment occurs ('...including a relatively large number of young adults, than the older people. I believe that...'). However, these errors rarely impede communication and the meaning remains clear throughout. This represents a typical Band 6 grammatical profile.

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