Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In contemporary society, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. I believe that the benefits of this trend, such as increasing productivity, outweigh its drawbacks because of a high dependency ratio.

A particularly noteworthy advantage of having more young adults in a nation is its potential to increase productivity. This can be largely attributed to the fact that young people can do more work than older individuals, thereby increasing the output. In practical terms, young people are more active, and can work for longer periods with little fatigue. Essentially, in a day one young adult can do a task that could have been done by two or more older men. This can be exemplified by construction workers in a company, where they have to lift some heavy tools. Older people may find it difficult to lift some of the items, which may reduce the productivity of the company. As a consequence, young people are more efficient and productive than the older generation.

Nevertheless, it would be unrealistic to overlook the extent to which older people can cause dependency. This is particularly concerning because people's immunity may weaken as they grow older, preventing them from doing their normal duties effectively. By being exposed to various work environments, older people may be more vulnerable to diseases, which can subsequently force them to depend on young adults both socially and financially. For instance, the demand aged care services in developed countries illustrate how they relly on young adults for daily activities.

In conclusion, although the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults than the older people, I believe that the benefits of this trend, such as increasing productivity, outweigh its drawbacks because of a high dependency ratio.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing the advantages and disadvantages of having a large young adult population. The student takes a clear position in the introduction and conclusion, asserting that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks due to productivity. However, the reasoning contains a logical contradiction or confusion regarding the dependency ratio. In the introduction and conclusion, the writer mentions 'a high dependency ratio' as a reason the benefits outweigh drawbacks, but typically a high dependency ratio refers to a heavy burden of non-working youth or elderly on the working population, which contradicts the idea that having more young adults is beneficial. Furthermore, the argument regarding older people causing dependency misinterprets the prompt's premise, which compares a youth-heavy population to an aging one. Despite these conceptual flaws, the ideas are extended with examples like construction workers, leading to a Band 6.0 performance.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct ideas, such as productivity advantages in the second paragraph and dependency disadvantages in the third. Cohesive devices are employed to connect sentences and ideas, including phrases like 'A particularly noteworthy advantage', 'This can be largely attributed to', and 'Nevertheless'. However, referencing and logical transitions between some sentences are occasionally mechanical or slightly unclear, particularly in the conclusion where the phrasing mirrors the introduction almost verbatim. Paragraph-internal cohesion is generally sound, but the overall logical flow suffers slightly from the aforementioned conceptual contradictions. This corresponds well to a Band 6.5 descriptor.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for the task, successfully using terms such as 'contemporary society', 'productivity', 'attribute', and 'vulnerable'. There are attempts to use less common vocabulary, though some word choices and collocations are slightly unnatural or inaccurate, such as 'demand aged care services' (missing 'for') and the spelling error 'relly' instead of 'rely'. Vocabulary choice is sometimes repetitive, for example, the heavy reuse of 'young people' and 'older people'. Nevertheless, the lexical range is sufficient to convey meaning clearly without impeding the reader's understanding, fitting the Band 6.0 criteria closely.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The writer uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, incorporating relative clauses and conditional structures, such as 'which may reduce the productivity of the company' and 'although the population of some countries includes...'. There are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings throughout the text, including preposition errors ('demand aged care services') and tense/modal issues ('could have been done'). Punctuation is generally acceptable, and while errors are present, the majority of simple sentences are error-free and complex structures, although occasionally faulty, rarely impede communication. This performance aligns securely with Band 6.0.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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