Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In contemporary society, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. I believe that the benefits of this trend, such as increasing productivity, outweigh its drawbacks inspite of a high dependency ratio.

A particularly noteworthy advantage of having more young adults in a nation is its potential to increase productivity. This can be largely attributed to the fact that young people can do more work than older individuals, thereby increasing the output. In practical terms, young people are more active, and can work for longer periods with little fatigue. Essentially, in a day one young adult can do a task that could have been done by two or more older men. This can be exemplified by construction workers in a company, where they have to lift some heavy tools. Older people may find it difficult to lift some of the items, which may reduce the productivity of the company. As a consequence, young people are more efficient and productive than the older generation.

Nevertheless, it would be unrealistic to overlook the extent to which older people can cause dependency. This is particularly concerning because people's immunity may weaken as they grow older, preventing them from doing their normal duties effectively. By being exposed to various work environments, older people may be more vulnerable to diseases, which can subsequently force them to depend on young adults both socially and financially. For instance, the demand of aged care services in developed countries illustrate how they relly on young adults for daily activities.

In conclusion, although the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, than the older people, I believe that the benefits of this trend, such as increasing productivity, outweigh its drawbacks because of a high dependency ratio.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task by presenting both advantages and disadvantages of a youth-heavy population, clearly stating a position in the introduction and reiterating it in the conclusion. Ideas are relevant, particularly regarding productivity and the dependency ratio. However, the reasoning in the body paragraphs tends to over-generalise—for example, claiming that 'in a day one young adult can do a task that could have been done by two or more older men'—and the explanation of the dependency disadvantage slightly confuses the direction of dependency by focusing on older people depending on the young due to illness, whereas the prompt implies a demographic shift where a large young population might eventually face an ageing crisis. Despite these minor logical stretches, the main task requirements are met, and the position is clear throughout, aligning well with the Band 6 descriptors.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay has a clear overall arrangement with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct ideas, such as the advantages of productivity and the disadvantages of dependency. Cohesive devices are employed, including transitional markers like 'Nevertheless' and 'As a consequence'. However, referencing and cohesion can occasionally feel mechanical or slightly flawed, as seen in the concluding sentence where the grammar falters ('includes a relatively large number of young adults, than the older people, I believe...'), disrupting the logical flow at the end of the text. Overall progression is visible, but the connectivity between sentences could be smoother, fitting the Band 6 profile.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The writer demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting some less common lexical items such as 'contemporary society', 'productivity', 'dependency ratio', and 'immunity'. There are, however, noticeable word choice and collocation errors or awkward phrasings, such as 'inspite' (spelled as one word and lacking apostrophe), 'rely' misspelled as 'relly', and the awkward phrasing 'demand of aged care services... illustrate how they relly'. While these errors do not impede overall communication, they prevent the lexical score from reaching the higher bands. The vocabulary used is sufficient to convey the main arguments, representing a solid Band 6 level.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The response displays a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilising structures like subordinate clauses ('This can be largely attributed to the fact that...') and conditional or concessive clauses. There are, however, several grammatical errors and punctuation slips throughout the text. Examples include 'inspite' instead of 'in spite', 'relly' instead of 'rely', and a confusing grammatical structure in the final sentence ('includes a relatively large number of young adults, than the older people, I believe that...'). These errors occur frequently enough to distract the reader, though they rarely impede overall comprehension. This balance of complex structures alongside recurring errors reflects the Band 6 descriptors.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.