Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In most of the developed countries this argument is correct becuase most of the young generation move from developing countries to the developed country for the bright future. Becuase these countries provide more faculities than developing countries. That's why the young population is larger than the olders generation. Also these countries have some resitractions too so you can only migrate to these countries in a time range. Becuase if they will accept the older people too then they have to provide the proper health care or pension to those people too. This will cost the government. Becuase in most of the develpoed countries old generation is the responsibility of the government. The government pay for there health, medicine etc.

But at the same time, by accepting the young people to their countries the govenment will generate the major revenew in there own country. Now since this person is not the resident of this developed country government has no responsibility to provide the pension to him. Some young people will get education or left the country, or in some case they couldn't find the proper job so they left.

You can say this imgration process is the main pillar of the developed country becuase you outsource the labor once your job is done you have no responsibility so you can let them go or in some case they start there family there so now governemnt have to pay for there pension.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing the economic implications of having a large young adult population through immigration, presenting a viewpoint on the perceived advantages and disadvantages. However, the development of ideas is limited and repetitive, with arguments revolving almost entirely around government spending on healthcare and pensions for older versus younger populations. Furthermore, the response is 240 words long, falling 10 words short of the 250-word minimum, which restricts the depth of task fulfilment. The position is somewhat evident, but the lack of a formal conclusion and insufficient elaboration on the broader societal impacts keep this performance at a Band 5.0 level.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The essay lacks proper paragraphing, presented instead as a series of block sentences that do not flow logically from one point to the next. While some basic cohesive devices are used, such as 'That's why', 'Also', and 'But at the same time', they are often repetitive and used mechanically. There is a lack of clear overall progression, and the frequent use of 'Becuase' at the start of sentences creates a choppy and disjointed reading experience. Referencing is occasionally unclear, as seen in pronoun usage ('if they will accept', 'to those people too'). Overall, the structural organisation is weak, corresponding to a Band 4.5 or 5.0, best represented here by Band 5.0.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, relying heavily on words like 'countries', 'people', 'government', and 'responsibility'. There are frequent spelling and word-choice errors, such as 'becuase' (repeated multiple times), 'faculities', 'resitractions', 'olders', 'revenew', 'imgration', and 'govenment'. While the writer attempts some topic-specific vocabulary related to migration and public finance, the control over lexical items is weak and inadequate for higher bands. Errors frequently cause irritation and occasionally strain the reader's understanding, placing this firmly within the Band 5.0 descriptor range.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The grammatical range is extremely limited. The text consists predominantly of simple and frequently faulty complex sentence structures, often linked incorrectly. There are numerous grammatical and punctuation errors throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues ('old generation is the responsibility', 'government pay for there health'), incorrect prepositions ('in a time range'), and persistent spelling errors. The frequent errors cause difficulty for the reader and demonstrate a lack of control over basic sentence patterns, aligning with the criteria for a Band 4.5 or 5.0. Given some successful simple structures, a score of 5.0 is appropriate.

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