Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-28
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.0)
in recent time, the demographiccs of the og younger people. it is many disadvsantages and advantages. i will provide both od view point.
on other hand, many country prefer young individuals because they eeasily finished work then older. so mant place older does not show it. moreover, many owners considering that young people very health than older people. they are provide to so much in scoicety. in addtionly, yonger can be more important as. for example, younger can be achivve poroduct and who people worek in office they improve our knowlege.
on un oyher hand, older individuals are very preferrd because they have lot of knowllodge so it it improves our companys. older people after retire ment their save money because government provide peansion. for eample, they does not depended. however, a large young population can increase competition for jobs. when there are more young people, more jobs are needed. for example, if a many country cannot create enough jobs, many young people may remain unempolyment.
in my opinion, oler people not proper work as younger workers, older people create many presure it so they can not proper work.
overall, having a large number of young adults can be beneficial for a country because they can contribute to the workforce. however, it can also ceate pressure on the jobs.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0
The response attempts to address the prompt regarding the advantages and disadvantages of a large young adult population compared to older people, presenting basic ideas. However, the task achievement is hindered significantly in two ways. First, the essay contains only 219 words, falling well short of the mandatory 250-word minimum, which incurs a direct penalty. Second, the development of ideas is superficial and often unclear. For instance, the writer mentions that young people finish work faster and are healthier, but these points are poorly supported with vague examples such as 'younger can be achivve poroduct and who people worek in office they improve our knowlege'. The position on whether advantages outweigh disadvantages remains muddled and lacks clear synthesis. Therefore, the response aligns best with Band 4.0 descriptors.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0
The essay is divided into paragraphs, which shows a basic awareness of structure. However, the overall progression and logical arrangement of information are frequently disrupted. Cohesive devices are either misused or absent, resulting in disjointed sentences like 'on other hand, many country prefer young individuals because they eeasily finished work then older.' Paragraphing is erratic, with abrupt transitions between ideas about employment benefits, job competition, and retirement pensions. Furthermore, referencing is weak and confusing, making it difficult for the reader to follow the train of thought. This level of organisation and cohesion reflects Band 4.0 characteristics.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.0
The vocabulary used throughout the essay is very basic and repetitive, with frequent word-choice errors that strain the reader's understanding. Examples include 'demographiccs', 'og younger people', 'disadvsantages', 'od view point', and 'unemplooyment'. The writer attempts some less common terms, such as 'demographics' and 'competition', but spelling and morphological errors are prevalent ('achivve poroduct', 'knowllodge', 'peansion', 'oler'). Because the lexical range is severely limited and errors frequently impede smooth reading, the vocabulary performance sits comfortably at Band 4.0.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0
Grammatical control is weak throughout the response. The text is dominated by simple sentence structures, and attempts at complex sentences almost invariably result in severe structural errors, incorrect verb tenses, and missing auxiliary verbs, such as in 'for eample, they does not depended' and 'older people create many presure it so they can not proper work.' Punctuation and capitalization are largely neglected, and basic subject-verb agreement is frequently violated. Because errors are very frequent and constantly distort meaning, the grammatical performance corresponds to Band 4.0.
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