Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-29
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
In the current times, the population of some nations include a relatively large number of young adults when compared with the number of senior citizens. I opine that the advantages of this development far outweigh the disadvantages.
Discussing the advantages, the prime one is, having a greater number of youth leads to increased innovation and startups when given the right opportunities and resoures. To elaborate, young people are more likely to have creative ideas and they are also more prone to taking risks according to various studies. For instance, Indian government started a program called "Start-up India" which allows youth, primarily students, to pitch their ideas and get funding for upto two lakhs. It not only results into increased employment rates but also increased gross domestic product of a country. Additionally, young adults provide for an astounding military power after proper military training if such a need arises.
Discussing the disadvantages, the prime one is, having a large number of youth could result into incresed unemplyoment rates if majority of people are competing for the same jobs. For instance, there once was a great demand for engineers. However, a lot of students started pursuing for an engineering degree and soon, majority of them faced a great deal of unemployment. Additionally,
In conclusion, although the increased amount of young adults could lead to unemployment, the power of a country lies in its youth and hence, having a large number of young adulds, as compared to older people is definitely advantageous.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of having a large youth population and presents a clear position throughout, as seen in the statement "I opine that the advantages of this development far outweigh the disadvantages." Main ideas are supported with relevant examples, such as the Indian government's "Start-up India" program and the discussion on engineering employment trends. However, there is a minor omission in task completion as the final sentence in the third body paragraph is cut off ("Additionally,"), leaving a thought incomplete. Furthermore, the length check confirms the response contains 249 words, which falls slightly short of the 250-word minimum requirement. Consequently, a minor penalty has been applied to Task Achievement.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5
The essay presents a clear logical organisation and progression throughout. Information and ideas are arranged coherently, starting with an introduction that states a clear position, followed by separate body paragraphs discussing advantages and disadvantages respectively, and ending with a concise conclusion. Cohesive devices are used reasonably well, such as "Discussing the advantages, the prime one is," "To elaborate," and "Additionally." Paragraphing is used sufficiently and appropriately to separate distinct themes. Referencing is generally clear, though the abrupt cut-off at the end of the third body paragraph creates a momentary disruption in the flow. Overall, the essay meets the criteria for Band 7 in this domain.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The student uses a sufficient range of vocabulary for the task with some attempts at less common items, such as "senior citizens," "innovation and startups," "gross domestic product," and "astounding military power." There are occasional word choice and spelling errors, such as "resoures" instead of resources, "results into" instead of results in, and "incresed unemplyoment" instead of increased unemployment. However, these lexical errors do not impede communication, and the writer demonstrates an awareness of academic style and collocation suitable for a Band 6.5 performance, rounded to 6.0 based on common descriptors.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
The essay displays a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including conditional and participial structures like "when given the right opportunities and resoures" and "young people are more likely to have creative ideas and they are also more prone to taking risks." There are several grammatical errors present, such as "the population of some nations include" (subject-verb agreement error with 'population'), "government started a program" (missing article 'The'), and "for upto two lakhs" (informal preposition usage and spelling of 'up to'). Despite these errors in grammar and punctuation, they rarely impede communication, aligning well with the Band 6 descriptor.
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