Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In recent years, the over all population of the world had increased rapidly. Currently, the population of a few countries has a huge number of young individuals, as respect to the number of older people living there. In my opinion, such develoment has a lot of pros, compared with the cons.

Development of any nation is highly depended on the number of skilled workers living in the country. Young people can contribute to the country growth by working in different fields, unlike to the older citizens which are depended on the other humans for thier own survival. For example, recently Japan was offering numerous opportunities for the young individuals to work in their country as age of almost 70% people of Japan is over 60.

Young athelets are required for a country to represent itsef at different international sports event. From a long past, people are highly attaracted toward sports and enjoy themselves in watching various international competitions. Physically fit people are only capable to take part in sports game and gets the opportunity to lead his nation at international level.

Alternatively, some people argue that relatively large number of young adults in country,s population, has alot of disadvantages. It will be a major cause of umemployment as more skilled individuals are available as compared to the number of jobs offered.

In conclusion, having alot more young adults as compared to old people result in successful growth of country,s economy and also provide a chance for the country to participate in numerous sports events happening all over the world.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of having a large young adult population. A clear position is presented in the introduction and maintained throughout the essay. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited and occasionally simplistic. For instance, the argument regarding sports mentions that 'Physically fit people are only capable to take part in sports game and gets the opportunity to lead his nation', which lacks depth and thorough explanation. The point about Japan is relevant but not fully elaborated to clearly demonstrate why a young population is beneficial on a macro scale. While the main aspects of the prompt are covered, the supporting arguments require further extension and clearer illustration to reach a higher band level.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a recognizable introduction, body paragraphs, and a brief conclusion. Paragraphing is attempted, though some paragraphs are quite short, such as the single-sentence paragraph addressing the disadvantages. Cohesive devices are used, but sometimes mechanical or awkward, such as 'Alternatively, some people argue'. Referencing is generally clear, but logical progression between sentences occasionally falters due to abrupt transitions. For example, moving from economic development to sports requires a smoother connective bridge. Overall, the organizational structure is adequate for the task, though the management of cohesion and paragraphing exhibits notable flaws.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting some less common items such as 'development', 'opportunities', and 'unemployment'. However, there are numerous spelling and word-choice errors throughout the text, including 'over all', 'develoment', 'depended' instead of 'dependent', 'athelets', 'itsef', 'attaracted', 'gets' instead of 'get', and 'country,s'. These lexical errors and slip-ups distract the reader and occasionally impede smooth reading. While the student demonstrates a willingness to use topic-specific vocabulary, the high frequency of inaccurate word forms and spelling mistakes keeps the lexical score within the lower-intermediate range.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The essay features a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some attempt at varied structures such as relative clauses and comparative forms. However, grammatical accuracy is weak, with frequent errors in prepositions, verb forms, and agreement. Examples include 'the population of the world had increased rapidly' (tense error), 'unlike to the older citizens' (faulty structure), 'which are depended on the other humans' (incorrect relative pronoun and preposition), and 'age of almost 70% people of Japan is over 60' (missing articles and awkward phrasing). Punctuation errors are also present, such as unnecessary commas like 'country,s'. These errors frequently cause strain for the reader.

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