Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

At present some countries have a larger number of young adults compared with the number of older people. I think the advantages of this can easily outweighs the disadvantages because young people are the asset of any country. More young people means more development in technology or in many sectors of country.

One of the major advantages of young people that they can work more fast and frequently. There are many technological developments where older people lack to work because their ability is not very great in it. Young adults are able to work in almost every sector for many years and this generation can potentially strong enough to benefit socially and economically in society. For example countries with a large population can have more workers in technological, educational and business sectors.

The other benefit is that young generation have more productive and innovative ideas that they can use for development of their society. There way of thinking is broader than most of the older people that can bring many positive changes in society. This can help a country more develop and modern. In addition a large young population can create more demand for products, entertainment, housing and other services, which can create new business opportunities.

However, there are also some disadvantages. If a country cannot provide enough jobs for its young population, unemployment can increase. This may lead to financial problem for societies and create social difficulties.

To conclude that young adults are very beneficial for our society and also great for our country's economy but having a large number of young adults can create some challenges but there is also very important asset of any country in terms of technology, science and business sectors and create many usefull developments of modern needs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The student addresses all parts of the task by taking a clear position that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, supporting this view with reasons related to economic development, innovation, and consumer demand. The essay also acknowledges a counter-argument regarding unemployment. Ideas are generally relevant, but some points, such as older people lacking technological ability, tend to over-generalize and are under-developed. For instance, the statement that older people 'lack to work' is simplistic and lacks depth of support. While the main arguments are presented, the explanation of how these factors outweigh the disadvantages could be extended further. Consequently, the response fits well within Band 6, as it addresses all parts of the task with relevant ideas, though some are somewhat under-developed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear introduction and conclusion, and body paragraphs that deal with distinct points. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate advantages from disadvantages. However, cohesion at the sentence level is sometimes mechanical or faulty. For example, cohesive transitions like 'The other benefit is that' and 'In addition' are used, but logical progression is occasionally disrupted by awkward phrasing, such as 'To conclude that young adults are very beneficial...', which lacks a main verb and proper clause structure. Referencing is generally clear, but the flow between sentences can feel choppy, indicating a Band 6 level of cohesion where devices are sometimes repetitive or inaccurate.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully using terms like 'development', 'technological', 'innovative ideas', and 'unemployment'. However, there are noticeable limitations and inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. Examples include 'can easily outweighs' (agreement error), 'work more fast' (adverbial form), 'older people lack to work' (unnatural collocation), and 'usefull' (spelling error). The vocabulary is sufficient to convey the general message, but attempts at less common items sometimes result in errors that place the writing firmly in the Band 6 category, as the vocabulary is minimally adequate and contains recurrent inaccuracies.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, attempting relative clauses and conditional structures such as 'If a country cannot provide enough jobs for its young population, unemployment can increase.' However, grammatical errors are frequent throughout the text. There are issues with subject-verb agreement ('the advantages of this can easily outweighs'), missing prepositions, and awkward sentence structures, such as the concluding sentence which is a massive, ungrammatical run-on ('To conclude that young adults are very beneficial... and create many usefull developments of modern needs'). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they persist across most paragraphs, preventing the text from reaching a Band 6.0 cleanly, though it manages to maintain enough control for a solid Band 5.5.

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