Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-29
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
At the present time, the population of some country includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. The one of the country where the population of younger is grater then older that is India. In India there a large number of younger people rather then the older peope.
There is a many advantages of younger people comparing to the older people. The one of the most important advantage is they help to make better ecconmy of the country ,and the other one is do best for our country. If there a large number of younger people then the older people, because the upcoming young genertaion is mosty educated. Some of the youngster is uneducated. If there a large number of people is educated that country have a large number of skills. Which can help country to grow faster and become more stable in world. When these student went abroad they represent our country in a good maners. When a large number of skilled person have a country so there is different types of idea is come and when the people prevent it they provide a large oppertunites for those student who became a succesfull and that do for our country. when the country have a skilled person already so they don't required more skilled person from abroad in these cases a good post are goes for the abroad people and country may phases a lot of chalenges, because the abroad people take a salary in large amount.
They over population of youngster is also prevent many disadvantage. Because if country have a large number of youngster ,so it's make problem for country to maintain gods and shelter. The main issue is to provide a shalter to new youngster. Because if a large value of land is invest in shelters, so there left a few land for agriculture. If country purchase a food from other country, they badly effect the economy . And many other issue are also prevent such as distribution of health, education, and other gods etc.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The response addresses the prompt by discussing the advantages and disadvantages of having a young population, citing India as an example. However, the development of ideas is limited and often repetitive. While the writer attempts to present arguments about economic growth, skill availability, and infrastructure challenges like housing and agriculture, many points are underdeveloped or lack clarity, such as the confusing discussion around foreign workers and salaries. The position is discernible, but the overall progression of ideas is hindered by generalisations and somewhat disjointed reasoning. This performance aligns with Band 5, as the task is addressed, but the ideas remain limited and partially developed.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0
The essay lacks clear logical organisation and effective paragraphing. The introduction is disjointed, and the body paragraphs lack clear topic sentences, making the progression of ideas hard to follow. Cohesive devices are used minimally and sometimes inaccurately, such as the repetitive use of 'Because' and 'When' to start sentences. Referencing is frequently unclear, leaving the reader confused about what pronouns like 'they' or 'it' refer to. Paragraphing is also problematic, with the second body paragraph merging distinct thoughts on advantages and disadvantages awkwardly. Overall, this demonstrates the characteristics of Band 4, as information and ideas are not arranged coherently.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.0
The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, with numerous word-choice and spelling errors that strain the reader. Examples include 'grater' instead of 'greater', 'peope' instead of 'people', 'ecconmy' instead of 'economy', and 'genertaion' instead of 'generation'. The writer attempts some less common vocabulary, such as 'stability', 'oppertunites', and 'distribution', but these are often used inaccurately or with incorrect collocation. The range is limited and minimally adequate for conveying basic intent, but frequent errors in spelling and word formation place this firmly in the Band 4 category.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0
The writing exhibits a very limited range of grammatical structures, relying heavily on simple sentences and faulty complex structures. There are frequent, pervasive errors in basic grammar, subject-verb agreement, and article usage, such as 'The one of the country', 'there a large number', 'Some of the youngster is uneducated', and 'country may phases a lot of chalenges'. Punctuation is also erratic, with commas frequently misplaced. These errors occur in almost every sentence and frequently impede communication, matching the Band 4 descriptor where errors are frequent and often distort meaning.
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