Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-30
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.5)
At the present time, many nations across the world have a demographic structure with a relatively high percentage of young adults compared to elderly citizens.In this essay the advantages outwiegh the disadvantages discuss further because a young workforce boosts economic growth and drives modern innovation.
On the one hand, a country with many young adults faces specific problems,. The main disadvantages is pressure on the employment sector. When thousands of graduates enter the market simultaneously, it can lead to high unemployment because there are not enough jobs. For instance, in several developing nations, a lack of employment causes frustration among the youth and increases crime rates. Furthermore, governments must spend substantial resources on expanding educational facilities, which strains the national budget.
On the other hand, the benefits of a youthful population are highly valuable for a nations future.Firstly, a large numbers of young adults provides an abundant labor supply, which attracts foreign investment. Young workers are generally more energetic and flexible compared to older generations. Secondly, young people adapt quickly to modern techonolgy. This tech savviness leads to higher innovation. For example, the booming tech sector in India is powered by young professional starting the country to complete globally.
In conclusion, while a large youth population creates issues regarding job availability and government spending, the positive impacts are greater. The economic dynamism, productivity, and technological innovation brought by young adults are essential assets that lead a nation toward long term prosperity.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
The student addresses all parts of the prompt, discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of a youthful population and taking a clear position that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Ideas are extended with relevant examples, such as the tech sector in India and employment pressures in developing nations. However, the introduction contains a slightly confusing thesis statement ('In this essay the advantages outwiegh the disadvantages discuss further'). Furthermore, the response is 9 words short of the 250-word minimum, which restricts the depth of task fulfilment and requires a downward adjustment in this category.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0
The essay displays a logical overall progression and is appropriately organised into four paragraphs: an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting opposing views, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices are used effectively to guide the reader through the arguments, such as 'On the one hand', 'Furthermore', and 'On the other hand'. Paragraphing is used sufficiently and clearly. Although referencing and minor mechanical slips occur—such as missing spaces after periods in the opening sentences—the overall coherence remains clear and easy to follow throughout the response.
Lexical Resource: Band 6.0
The student demonstrates an adequate and generally appropriate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully using terms like 'demographic structure', 'abundant labor supply', 'foreign investment', and 'economic dynamism'. There are some spelling and lexical errors, such as 'outwiegh', 'techonolgy', and 'professional starting the country to complete [compete] globally'. Less common vocabulary is attempted with reasonable success, though occasional inaccuracies in word choice prevent the score from reaching a higher band. Overall, the vocabulary is sufficient to convey the intended meaning clearly.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0
The student exhibits a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing structures such as conditional-like relationships ('When thousands of graduates enter the market simultaneously, it can lead to high unemployment...') and relative clauses. There are several grammatical errors and punctuation lapses, including missing spaces after full stops in the first paragraph, a comma splice ('...specific problems,.'), and subject-verb agreement issues like 'a large numbers of young adults provides'. Despite these errors, they rarely impede communication, and the majority of sentences remain clear and comprehensible.
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