Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Everyday we hear how many numbers of graduates will be entering the market, and every year the figure increases drastically. Currently, the population of young individuals is increasing and the number of older people is going down around the world. I believe this is a positive factor that can help in the boosting of economies and the development of other sectors as well.

First of all, having higher number of young adults means, having fresh minds, innovative ideas and overall, a strong workforce. For instance, most of the hard labour, innovative researches and new start-up ideas are done by younger adults. Therefore, the high number of younger population is an advantage to have as there efforts are crucial in excelling in various sectors and ultimately uplifting the economies.

Another reason why I believe in the advantage of having increasing figure of young adults is that, the younger generation does not require alot of care as compared to older people. For example, the older population require special care, and since they are not able to work most of the tax budget is spent on their well-being, thus this is an extra expense for the state. Therefore, it s beneficial for governments to have less number of aged people in compairson to younger ones.

In contrast, some people are of the opinion that having higher number of older poeple is beneficial for the society. Their main rason is that, having older people at home brings a sense of peace and with their knowledge and wisdom, we are able to solve many problems in our daily life. Therefore, many countries have a of having a joint family system with high regard for their elders.

In conclusion, having a high number of younger populations is advantageous on many fronts as compared to having high number of older people, as they are able to take-on od jobs, labour intense gigs and highly intellectual research projects. Therefore, emphais should be on accomodating the increasing number of individuals and using their talent to help boost economic growth.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The student addresses all parts of the prompt, taking a clear stance that the advantages of having a younger population outweigh the disadvantages. The response presents relevant ideas, such as economic boosting through a strong workforce and lower state expenditure on healthcare, alongside a brief acknowledgement of the counter-argument regarding older generations. However, some of the ideas are slightly under-developed or general, such as the point about the joint family system, which lacks deeper exploration. Overall, the main arguments are sufficiently supported with logical explanations and examples, fulfilling the core requirements for Band 6.5 to Band 7.0.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay displays a generally coherent overall arrangement with a clear paragraph structure, moving from an introduction to body paragraphs supporting the stance, a counter-argument paragraph, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'First of all', 'Another reason why', 'In contrast', and 'In conclusion'. However, referencing and cohesion are sometimes mechanical or slightly faulty, such as in the phrasing 'there efforts' instead of 'their efforts', and some sentences lack fluid transitions. Paragraphing is adequate, but the progression between ideas could be smoother.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for the task, attempting less common lexical items like 'innovative researches', 'start-up ideas', and 'intellectual research projects'. However, there are noticeable spelling and word choice errors throughout the text, including 'alot' (a lot), 'compairson' (comparison), 'rason' (reason), 'poeple' (people), 'od' (odd), and 'emphais' (emphasis). These errors demonstrate a Band 6 level where vocabulary is adequate for communication, but inaccuracies in spelling and word formation persist.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, attempting relative clauses and conditional structures. There are, however, several grammatical and punctuation errors that recur throughout the text, such as unnecessary commas ('means, having fresh minds'), missing pluralisation ('higher number of young adult', 'less number of aged people'), and subject-verb agreement issues ('the older population require'). While these errors do not impede overall communication, they prevent the text from achieving a higher band score due to their frequency.

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