Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The number of young adults more as compare to old age individuals in some nations at present. This essay will discuss merits of over population of young adults ruther than old age population outweigh the demerits.

On the one hand young generation has a several advantages. Firstly, young people are able to do heavy work because they have more power as compare to old age. Furthermore, young generation are well able to combined with new technology and it is easier for them to do their work with the help of advance skills. Secondly, the work age of human being is no more than sixty. Therefore, the employees who work now in the different fields that vacancies become free in the upcoming period so that vacancies fulfill with the that workers who are adults now.

On the other hand, some fileds are that which need a years of experience which experience only have old generation so if they vanished in the coming years so it is difficult to work in that fields in which that experience deep in need. Furthermore, if the adult generation become overpopulated so they face problem regarding unemployment becaus there are still a large number of employes in capable of work so the vacancies are limited and they also face some financial problems due to unemployment and suffer from stress.

In conclusion, there are a lot of benefits of overpopulation of adults such as they are capable to do heavy work and also combined easily with technology. However, old age people have a lot of experience which young individuals have not. Moreover, overpopulation of young generation also face financial problems due to unemployement and become in stress.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing the advantages and disadvantages of having a large population of young adults compared to older people. The candidate states a position in the introduction that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Ideas are presented, such as physical strength, adaptability to technology, and workforce replenishment on the positive side, and the loss of experienced older workers and unemployment on the negative side. However, these ideas are somewhat underdeveloped and repetitive, leaning toward generalisations rather than deeply extended arguments. There is also a lack of specific real-world examples to support the claims. While all parts of the task are addressed, the depth of exploration aligns with the Band 5 descriptors, as the position is sometimes obscured by language difficulties and the ideas remain relatively limited.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The essay is divided into four paragraphs: an introduction, two body paragraphs representing opposing views, and a conclusion. Transitional markers such as 'On the one hand', 'Furthermore', 'Secondly', and 'In conclusion' are used to structure the text. However, referencing is sometimes unclear, and cohesive devices are repetitive or occasionally inaccurate, such as 'some fileds are that which need a years of experience'. There is a discernible organizational structure with an overall progression from introduction to arguments and conclusion, but the logical flow is frequently disrupted by awkward phrasing and mechanical transitions. This places the response firmly in Band 5 for Coherence and Cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is relatively basic and repetitive throughout the essay. The student attempts less common lexical items such as 'overpopulation', 'unemployment', and 'advance skills', but these are accompanied by frequent word-choice and spelling errors, such as 'ruther' for rather, 'fileds' for fields, 'employes' for employees, and 'unemployement'. Collocations are often unnatural, as seen in 'combined with new technology' or 'experience deep in need'. The range of vocabulary is minimally adequate to convey the basic meaning, but frequent errors and limited control over word formation cause some difficulty for the reader, matching the requirements of Band 5.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The essay displays a very limited range of grammatical structures. The student attempts some complex sentences, such as 'Therefore, the employees who work now in the different fields that vacancies become free...', but these attempts are consistently faulty and grammatically confused. There are frequent errors in subject-verb agreement, such as 'young generation are', word order, and missing articles or prepositions. Punctuation is also problematic, leading to run-on sentences and unclear boundary demarcations between clauses. While some simple sentences are clear, the high frequency of grammatical errors and limited control over complex forms mean the response fits the Band 4 to 5 range, leaning towards a 5.0 as basic meaning is generally communicated.

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