Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The population of some countries having more young adult then old it is goog sign for development of that country more people do work in their carrier and having more energy for working on that project which will cause the delvelopment of every field of life and it lead to development of country and many people have earning for their older which less then younge and not able to work because of their energy which loss with passage of time and they no need to work because of their young they depend on them instead they do work to live their life it is very big adventage of young adults.

as over population in every field of life it also cause unempolyment for young who are highly educated regardless they can do nothing for earning and live their life so for seek of earning they start crimical activities which way they make money and crime become common and its harm the life of common person who live simply and he is not safe in his own country because risk of harm by criminal which are young adult having more energy to get of their situation of emergncy this way more people earn more money by criminal way it inspire the common person who live life simply when he saw criminal have more money then enough they will choose the same way it will stop the progress of country and country become underdeveloped.

The must be take the intiative for young and produce the empolyment sector and strict puishment for criminal so people will earn their life which they want.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response attempts to address the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of having a large young adult population. The writer identifies economic growth and energy as advantages, and unemployment and crime as disadvantages. However, the ideas are severely under-developed and lack clear logical expansion. Phrases like 'which will cause the delvelopment of every field of life' demonstrate vague assertions rather than supported arguments. Furthermore, the position is not consistently maintained due to dense phrasing and abrupt shifts in focus. Although all parts of the task are touched upon, the lack of depth and specific examples places this response firmly at Band 5.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The text suffers from a major structural flaw: it consists of only three massive, highly congested paragraphs, including a second paragraph that runs on for over 120 words without adequate punctuation or logical separation. Cohesive devices are either missing or misused, relying on repetitive strings of 'which' and 'and' clauses that obscure the logical progression of ideas. While there is a basic attempt to sequence thoughts—moving from advantages to disadvantages and finally to a brief conclusion—the absence of paragraphing discipline and the lack of clear referencing mean the reader must work hard to follow the argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.0

The vocabulary used is basic and frequently inaccurate, which significantly impedes communication. The writer relies heavily on simple terms and makes frequent word choice and collocation errors, such as 'goog sign' instead of 'good sign', 'earning for their older' instead of 'supporting their elders', and 'crimical activities' instead of 'criminal activities'. There is an attempt to use less common words like 'development' and 'unemployment', but spelling errors ('delvelopment', 'empolyment', 'puishment') and incorrect grammatical forms restrict the lexical range and control to a Band 4 level.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

Grammatical control is extremely weak throughout the text. The response is characterized by massive run-on sentences containing multiple clauses strung together with conjunctions and relative pronouns without proper punctuation or periods (e.g., the entire second paragraph is essentially a single sentence). There is a very limited range of accurate structures, and complex sentence attempts are consistently faulty, such as in 'The must be take the intiative for young and produce the empolyment sector'. Frequent errors in tense, subject-verb agreement, and sentence boundaries cause severe strain for the reader.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.