Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-30
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In modern era, it is a very common debate that the popution of some countries includes the large of young adults compared with the number of older people. I believe that, advantages of having more youngsters outweigh the disadvantages.
One of the major advantages is that the more younger energy can help the country to be economically strong. This is because, the work ratio of young one will be more than the older people, which can help their country to be financially strong. For instance, China has large number of young people as compared to older people. Those adults work more than old people which boosts there economy. Hence, the country which more young people can have more stable economy.
The one of its drawbacks can be unemployment. The main reason behind this, the country having more young adults can have less opportunties for them. There can be many graduated youngsters with any job. For example, India has a large number of adults as comparison with old people. Even though, the literacy rate among young people in India is high, but still there is large number of jobless people. That is why, many Indian adults are being forced to migrate to other countries. Thus, this is the main drawback of having more young adults in a country.
In conclusion, even though the countries can face the problem of unemployment which can cause some severe issues, but still having more young adults can be beneficial for that particular country. As it can help to boost the economy.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of having a population with a large number of young adults, taking a clear position that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. The ideas are relevant, noting economic growth as an advantage and unemployment as a drawback. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited and repetitive. For example, the explanation regarding China and economic growth remains quite general ('Those adults work more than old people which boosts there economy'). Similarly, the point about India and unemployment is introduced but lacks deeper analysis beyond stating high literacy and migration. This places the response comfortably in Band 6, as it addresses all parts of the task with relevant ideas, but some points are under-developed.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The essay has a coherent overall arrangement with clear paragraphing, including an introduction, two body paragraphs representing opposing views, and a conclusion. Logical progression is generally maintained, and basic cohesive devices such as 'One of the major advantages', 'For instance', 'The one of its drawbacks', and 'In conclusion' are employed to guide the reader through the text. However, referencing and cohesion are sometimes faulty or mechanical. For instance, phrases like 'The one of its drawbacks' contain grammatical awkwardness, and the transitions between sentences can feel abrupt. Paragraphing is used sufficiently and appropriately, but the management of cohesive devices lacks the flexibility required for a higher band, aligning the essay with Band 6 descriptors.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting some less common words and phrases such as 'economically strong', 'literacy rate', and 'migrate'. However, there are noticeable spelling and word choice errors throughout the text, including 'popution' instead of 'population', 'large of young adults' instead of 'large number', 'work ratio of young one', and 'opportunties'. Additionally, there are awkward phrasing choices such as 'the more younger energy'. These errors do not seriously impede communication because the writer's intent remains clear, but they restrict the lexical score to Band 5.0.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The response demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, such as 'This is because, the work ratio of young one will be more than the older people, which can help their country to be financially strong.' However, grammatical accuracy is inconsistent. There are frequent errors in article usage ('the advantages', 'the country which more young people'), prepositions ('as comparison with'), subject-verb agreement ('the country having more young adults can have less opportunties'), and punctuation (unnecessary commas before clauses). Despite these frequent errors, the meaning is rarely obscured, allowing communication to succeed. This performance reflects the Band 5 descriptor where a limited range of structures and frequent errors are present.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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